Update: You know what? A better title for this post would be “A Girl’s Simple Guide For Avoiding AIDS.” The point is that the guide is simple. Then again, the title could refer to women who have a sense of right and wrong, no matter how complicated the world is.
From an unknown writer:
The first thing the candidates might want to do is find out why so many African-American women are getting AIDS. Naturally, there are several factors. The one getting the most publicity is black men on the “down low” — men living with women but seeing boyfriends on the side.
But that is not the real problem, according to most AIDS organizations. Men coming home from prison is a much bigger deal. Fully 95% of American prisons do not provide condoms. Nonetheless, an estimated 65% of male inmates — even the straight ones — have sex. So much for good behavior. When they get out, they spread the diseases they picked up to women as well as men. So, clearly, we need condoms in prison.
An even bigger problem, says Talata Reeves, director of women’s and family services for New York’s Gay Men’s Health Crisis, is that there is still no AIDS prevention tool that a woman can use that does not require the consent of a man. Right now, if a woman suggests a condom, often her partner thinks she doesn’t trust him or that she has been fooling around. But if there were a microbicide — a virus-killing medicine women could use like a spermicide — a lot more women could discreetly protect themselves. Alas, says Reeves, microbicide research has been “woefully underfunded” by an administration more intent on pushing abstinence and marriage.
Too often, notes Reeves, poor women cannot insist on either of those options. “If you don’t have an income and he does, or if you don’t have another way of feeding your children, or if you are an immigrant and undocumented,” it is harder to demand anything — be it condom use or marriage — from a partner.
There are many points in this article to address, but I’ll keep it simple. To women (married or single, all income levels and education) with HIV or currently having relations with HIV-positive men, in case you’re unaware, HIV is spread through the exchange of body fluids. That took two seconds and no tax dollars.
FYI: It is not President Bush’s or his administration’s fault that you have AIDS. Your choices, including some level of reckless behavior, led to your infection. In other words, the fault lies within yourself. Outdated concept, I know, but bear with me.
If you are a single woman, here’s how you can decrease the likelihood you’ll get AIDS:
1) Don’t date ex-cons or drug users.
2) Become a Christian and/or abstain until marriage to a man who’s done the same.
3) If you can’t/won’t do either, date a man for at least six months and get to know as many of his friends and family as possible before “going all the way.” Insist on an HIV test.
4) If you can’t/won’t do any of the above, insist on an HIV test before “going all the way.”
5) If none of the above interests you, you’re on your own.
Encouraging marriage, abstinence in the absence of wedding vows, general self-restraint and delayed gratification are the best ways to show compassion toward people. Spending money on AIDS research and prevention, coupled with faith-based initiatives (especially those promoting marriage) is about all any president can do to help you out. The rest is up to you. You are a free woman living in a free country.
Bush’s marriage promotion plan:
The Administration’s proposal encourages states to increase their efforts to promote child well-being and healthy marriages. There is an abundant body of research proving that children raised in households headed by continuously married parents fare, on average, better than children growing up in any other family structure. Children growing up without a married mother and father are more likely to experience school failure, to suffer from emotional disturbance or depression, and to abuse drugs. These differences in outcomes for children in two-parent, married families and other families persist even after controlling for family characteristics such as race and parents’ education. For example, children growing up without a married mother and father are about twice as likely to drop out of school, over 50 percent more likely to have a child themselves as a teenager, and over 50 percent more likely to abuse controlled substances. As adults, they are over 30 percent more likely to be both out of school and out of work, and tend to have less stable relationships.
There are exceptions to every rule, but promoting abstinence, marriage and strong families will go a long way toward decreasing those AIDS numbers among women.
For married women with cheating or HIV-positive husbands who don’t want to use a condom — and you don’t want to leave him or insist he wear one — I admit: I don’t know what to say. You have my sympathy and my prayer. But again, it is not Bush’s fault.
Simple advice for living in a world that’s not as complex or nuanced as you think…
Hmmm… Responsibility for one’s actions–what a concept! There are exceptions and extreme cases but you never make policy on those, instead you deal with them using common sense.
However, in our “sue first, ask questions later” society we have the cart before the horse. We do everything based on the exceptions because they will sue us if we don’t and often even if we do and then all of us are slowly reduced to the least common denominator or below.
Comment by William Meisheid — 10.14.04 @ 9:04 am
William, La Shawn,
Agreed. Owning ones actions and their consequences has never been a halmark of humanity, and much of America in particular.
As for it being Bush’s fault… until the man leaves office (in 2009, I hope!), we won’t hear the end of how everything is his fault.
The rabid dislike much of the left has for him goes beyond logic, rationale thought or even the disgust many on the right had for Clinton.
Comment by SCSIwuzzy — 10.14.04 @ 9:09 am
Sorry for two postings in such a short span but I just finished reading the latest post on Eject! Eject! Eject! and I thought one of his paragraphs commented nicely on your post.
He can be found at http://www.ejectejecteject.com/
Comment by William Meisheid — 10.14.04 @ 9:11 am
What about the schpeel women my age were given in college in the late 80s/early 90s regardling AIDS that still bears truth…if you’re with a man who refuses to wear a condom, don’t have sex with him…period. Reduces your risk of getting AIDS to zero. That’s good advice regardless of socioeconomic status, race, religion and shoe size.
Comment by Stacy — 10.14.04 @ 9:18 am
Good points in all of the above postings.
The contemporay world says that sex between consenting adults hurts no one — body=pleasure machine.
The Bible says fornication is a sin against one’s body — body = temple. If the majority of women treated their body as their most precious asset, then come hell or high water, rich or poor, enfranchised or disenfranchised, we simply wouldn’t be seeing the rampant spread of STD. For the most part, STD spreads thru a lack of self restraint and yeilding to our “animal” instinct. Paul has plenty to say about this in the Book of Romans.
Comment by Andy — 10.14.04 @ 9:22 am
So nice to see that there are intelligent, sane commentators out there! Great job.
Comment by Kelly — 10.14.04 @ 9:34 am
Condoms in prison? How many of those 65% prisoners had consensual sex? How often does a rapist oblige his victim by wearing a condom?
For the record president Bush has signed the Prison Rape Elimination Act in 2003, that is looking for a solution to this issue.
Comment by Carolynn — 10.14.04 @ 9:48 am
Responsibility
Today, responsibility was the theme for postings on two different blogs that I read on a semi-regular basis. The first posting was on La Shawn Barber’s Place and addressed a woman’s personal responsibility for her sexual activity exposing her to the …
Trackback by Beyond The Rim... — 10.14.04 @ 9:56 am
Condoms in prison? AIDS is not stopped by condoms.
Oh and while yer at it give ‘em some lube too….what a freakin’ joke. They aren’t gonna stop to put on a condom before they gang rape their victim anyhow.
Comment by Joshua — 10.14.04 @ 10:08 am
What distrubes me more then anything else is how the individual blames Bush and his Administration for these actions.
Its just like the libs to place the responsibility at someone elses’ feet. Its beyond me that women today would put themselves at risk for what usually turns out to be a worthless individual. I couldn’t believe that the article focused on a woman’s disenfranchisement to justify their illicit behavior. I must say that I am not naieve to what individuals do in this world;but the Scriptures is only true answer.
Now,LaShawn, if you could only get this information in the hands of Jessie Jackson, Al Sharpton and John “I have a plan”Kerry, we might be able to bring getter awareness to this problem.
Comment by Dominic — 10.14.04 @ 11:18 am
that devil is the master of perversion, and until many believers tell the truth about the destruction that he can cause the believer, then the world will never get it, there are fools among the believer, as well as carnal believers, sex is a driven force in the flesh, and many of us will not say that. No one ever speaks forcefully about abstinence to our young people, its not cool to be a virgin, hip hoppers are not writing nor singing songs about being a virgin, many of our entertainers wear the “players” tatoo openly and Black Americans love to be the oversexed ones in our culture. You not a man unless you got several honey’s on the side plus one at home “says the master fool”. Somebody, everybody lets start with one person we know, and conversate with them about the sexual relations outside of wedlock. You can’t catch AIDs/HIV if you’re married and not sleeping with someone outside of your home. You can’t catch AIDS/HIV if you’re not sleeping with a man and you’re a man. Prison sex has always been a phobia for most men, and its REAL (lock up in prison doesnt’ change a horny, uncontrolled, devil driven man, it’s scary but its true) so don’t break the law, and don’t give the law a reason to put you in prison. Because satan loves to put the handcuffs on a man. Oppressed him, depress him, and shame him in front of God who made him, he wants to MOCK God by ruining the manhood of man. It’s all about self-control, temperance is given by the spirit of God. The world doesn’t know because the world is blind. Christians have the wisdom and must begin to tell it in Jesus name, and live it according to the word of God, or we will allow the devil to win everytime. Submit to God, resist the devil and he will flee….Some of us need to know the Joseph Complex, RUN!! The government cannot do this, it has to be personal. Whew! had to get that out.
Comment by sergeantjones — 10.14.04 @ 11:29 am
But I thought I heard Kerry say, “In the past four years this President has not cured AIDS. I can do better. I have a plan ….”
Comment by Tim — 10.14.04 @ 11:35 am
Because satan loves to put the handcuffs on a man. Oppressed him, depress him, and shame him in front of God who made him, he wants to MOCK God by ruining the manhood of man. — Sargeantjones.
That my friend is the essence of evil. Satn has deceived people into thinking homosex is cool in order to mock God
Comment by Andy — 10.14.04 @ 11:40 am
lashawn,
i double dog dare you to mince your words. just once. mince your words. about anything.
ok, just kidding. your straight talk is a wonderful thing . . . and this is a very important topic to be non-mincing about.
” . . . microbicide research has been ‘woefully underfunded’ by an administration more intent on pushing abstinence and marriage.” egads. just like humans to ignore/criticize the no-risk route, huh?
Comment by brenton — 10.14.04 @ 12:12 pm
I tend to believe that homosexual behavior comes from the ill-affects of sin as outlined in Romans 1. This is a spiritual force of huge massive propotions. The sign of decline for America is its acceptance of the behavior as mainstream. I known ministers who pay lip service to the problem; addressing it in a fashion that is cursory at best; not giving heed to th seriousness of the problem. Unwilling to offend, due to political correctness.
John Kerry demonstrated these qualities of compromise last night in the debate. Asked if he supported or opposed gay marriage, he hemmed and hawed like a MG42 machine gun! Attempting to find a comfortable answer to suit the masses.
Comment by Dominic — 10.14.04 @ 12:19 pm
brenton,
I have to say that I am attracted to this site because LaShawn is a breath of fresh air for me. I long for the day to hear a Black woman of God use her God-given wisdom in a fashion in which LaShawn does. Blacks need more men and women who are willing to stand up and be counted in a manner different from the masses. This site is the bomb!
I will say that I am increasingly finding myself spending long hours reading all the posts and commenting myself from time to time. LaShawn is a modern day John the Baptist with a smile.
Comment by Dominic — 10.14.04 @ 12:27 pm
tolerance and compromise among all believers will destroy the blessings of God in abundance. We as believers in Jesus name must begin to show by example that we will follow the Lord out of Sodom and Gomorrah, does any one believe this passage of scripture, the fire is coming, but no one wants the water, it’s greater than the flood. Wake Up, Wake Up this is not a drill or a test. Soul sanctification is the exercise for today for all believers in the Lord Jesus Christ. Holiness must be taking seriously, and that means speak out against the act of homosexual sex and sex outside of marriage. Marriage has been in trouble for a long time in America, divorce is rampant and men who love sex need temperance, so do women, but it’s the man thats got to check himself first. It’s HARD being a man of control without the Lord. EVERYDAY, seductive spirits are always on the prowl. Joseph RAN!!!!
Comment by sergeantjones — 10.14.04 @ 12:30 pm
as someone who used to work with HIV-positive women, your response is frightening and discouraging.
Of course abstinence is the most effective way to prevent contracting HIV/AIDS. However, we live in a world where abstinence is not the reality for all people. Abstinence is more than just saying no. Negotiating abstinence and condom use takes more skill than simply saying “No” or “Honey put on a condom” To do those things takes a certain level of self-esteem and self-respect that some women do not have because of the circumstances in their life.
Sit down and counsel a woman as she describes how her “man” beat the crap out of her for suggesting condom use, and you will understand. Sit down and counsel a woman to understand that she is involved in “survival sex” and try point her in the right direction and you will understand that sometimes teaching abstinence is not that simple. You have to start with where the person is at.
So, while you are preaching abstinence, I’ll continue advocating for safer sex and encouraging women to build their self-esteem and value beyond their sexual relationships.
The solution is not is not either/or. It is both/and.
Comment by napp — 10.14.04 @ 12:53 pm
Brenton - Thanks for finally commenting! I already know you’re a visitor. In fact, I’ll make an effort to come by your blog more often. I don’t like soft-peddling on important issues. There’s too much of that already. That’s why Michelle Malkin was a breath of fresh air. When I first read her work two years ago…WOW! She was saying some straight-up true but edgy things about Rep. Maxine Waters. I thought, “Who is this Michelle Malkin?” Her style is bold and engaging, and I admit that my style was inspired by hers.
Dominic - I’m glad that my blog keeps you here for hours! I attribute most of it to your being hungry for this kind of “talk.” I hope your feel hours are well-spent. In fact, I’d like to do outreach to young people, women especially, who may be conservative Christians seeking others like themselves. By the way, did you get the e-mail I sent you last week?
Napp - I’m frightened, but not discouraged, by the implication that one’s condition is someone else’s problem (unless you’re raped). What do such people with these attitudes teach their children about responsibility and making wise choices?
My post was meant to be simple, and the solutions are not as complicated as people think. For every woman being beaten by a man and forced to submit, there are probably dozens more who go recklessly into the night, voluntarily and without force. We can’t take hard cases as the one you described and base policy on those. Money is already being spent on prevention and outreach. My post is in response to the article, where the writer implied that it is somehow Republicans’ fault that AIDS is increasing among black women. Ridiculous.
I agree with the last sentence of your comment, by the way. Promoting abstinence and responsiblity is my way; what you do is yours. Plenty of room for both.
Comment by LB — 10.14.04 @ 12:54 pm
Ain’t W’s fault! Amen
This problem predates GWB and George 41. Want to fix it? Then we have to take the profit out of being an unwed sex toy. Put men back into families and get rid of all the shyster divorce lawyers.
Comment by Ivan Ivanovich — 10.14.04 @ 1:17 pm
Microbicide should not be developed with tax dollars. this product should be developed by the private sector,that way,it will be developed faster and safer.
Comment by Eric — 10.14.04 @ 1:30 pm
Sex is a choice, bottom line! People are not born homosexual, please lets end this charade. Sodom and Gomorrah happened because satan is making fun of God’s creation of man and woman in a covenant of marriage. Stand up men and women of God. Covenant breaking is of the sin nature - check out Rom 1 real good, lets get understanding, v31-32…without understanding, covenant breakers (those who are against marriage between a man and a woman, are ensuring the covenant is broken)…they are having pleasure or taking pleasure in them that do them. LB this is a topic we will have to be for God or against God. Let’s get an understanding, satan loves those without conviction. Homosexuality is a choice, being black or white is not a choice. God chooses who will be born where. He gives us free will to choose or sexuality after innocence. I teach my girl and boy, that I as thier father will protect their innocence until they choose to do something else. Let’s teach our kids by being honest. CHOICE is the key.
Comment by sergeantjones — 10.14.04 @ 1:38 pm
Microbicide research? Pardon my ignorance, but is a virus a microbe? I thought it was impossible to kill a virus. Either the virus is worn down (or controlled) by the patient’s immune system, ending in the patient’s recovery or the host is worn down by the virus, ending in the patient’s death.
That why there’s only prevention and management for viruses (like the flu, and like HSV, HPV and HIV), never cures.
If that has changed, please, someone more knowledgeable, let us in on it.
Comment by Juliette — 10.14.04 @ 1:44 pm
NEWS FLASH: Condoms are *not* a foolproof way to prevent AIDS.
Everyone would like you to think that they are. It’s a lie. They’re not even 100% effective at preventing pregnancy when used properly - what would make you think they’re 100% effective at preventing AIDS? And even when used properly, they are occasionally defective.
Try talking to a woman who’s in tears ’cause the condom broke and she’s afraid she’s got AIDS now. Well, honey, why were you counting on the condom to protect you? They aren’t perfect, you know. (Not that I said that to her, of course, but it’s what I was thinking.) It’s just sad that the powers that be waited for her to figure that out on her own.
Everything has risk. Sex with a condom is a calculated risk. And people should be educated about the risk that they are taking, rather than indoctrinated with the rubbish that it’s perfectly safe, just use a condom.
Comment by Mayflower — 10.14.04 @ 2:01 pm
LS-
Wonderful post. Cuts to the heart of the matter.
Since John Kerry would have cured aids and restored Superman to life and mobility, I just do not see what GWB’s problem is.
Comment by Rick — 10.14.04 @ 2:03 pm
Wow, was that article a trick? Now black women, poor women and immigrant women are too stupid to “JUST SAY NO”!
You are right La Shawn, if that is the mindset all you can do is throw your hands in the air and say a prayer.
Comment by Renee — 10.14.04 @ 2:06 pm
How about some straight-talking also aimed at the black men out there, who seem to feel that having sex is what defines them as a man? When I turn on BET or MTB, all I see is black people writhing around and grinding their bodies together in various simulations of having sex. Women in skimpy clothes, men in control - this is what is being pedalled as ‘desirable’ to our young people.
Add to that the desperate desire to ‘have a man’ that many black women express, even to the point of having one child after another out of wedlock, all with different fathers. Women like that don’t understand the concept of self-respect.
So how do we convince oversexed black males that sex does not = manhood?
Comment by Claire — 10.14.04 @ 2:18 pm
Juliette, viruses can be killed outside the host. Sometimes a squirt of Lysol is all that’s necessary. I think they’re thinking that a microbicide could be used as a barrier to kill the virus before it gets into the woman’s system. In fact, regular spermicide has been thought to have a discouraging effect on HIV; don’t know if it still is. And there are lots of antiviral treatments now that are fairly new, with lots more research happening as we speak.
The thing about condoms is, they have a measurable failure rate for preventing pregnancy. If the sperm can get through somehow, so can HIV. Not to mention, condoms do not protect against HPV, the virus that causes most forms of cervical cancer. I wouldn’t put my hopes of avoiding these things on condoms.
Comment by Laura — 10.14.04 @ 2:24 pm
Simple Girl’s Guide for Avoiding AIDS
“Encouraging marriage, abstinence in the absence of wedding vows, general self-restraint and delayed gratification, are the best ways to show compassion toward people. Money spent on AIDS research and prevention, coupled with faith-based initia…
Trackback by Booker Rising — 10.14.04 @ 2:37 pm
Claire, it’s hard being a man outside the will of God, I can’t speak for the woman, but we as men must receive the fruit of temperance from the Holy Spirit, and then we must always, everyday, every hour, submit to His authority, then we can resist the devil. Again I’m giving you the man’s truth, brothers in the world want receive this because the strange woman is to strong for him in the natural, and the wisdom of the world will tell him that he’s born gay. Please my sisters and brothers in Christ lets teach by the Spirit of God, God is Holy and created man (Adam) in his image and gave him a wife (Eve). Sistas help the men out a wait on the Lord. Also all the harlots come from the Mother of Harlots, Rev 17.5 and 18.3 and she works for the Devil (Pimp Daddy) and his device outside of the sanctity of marriage is called fornication, inside a betrayed marriage his device is called adultery. Within a homosexual relation God calls it an abomination. Choice after innocence is the key, let’s protect our children’s soul and live for the Lord.
Comment by sergeantjones — 10.14.04 @ 2:40 pm
LaShawn,
How can you propose these things? They are sooooooo old-fashioned. Don’t you know that everyone is “hooking up” these days, and even junior highs kids are having “rainbow parties”. Get with it, girl.
Okay, now that I have spent my sarcasm about how young people today would respond, let me put in my real two cents worth.
WAIT TO HAVE SEX UNTIL AFTER YOUR MARRIED. IT’S WORTH IT!! I was 33 1/2 and my husband was 29 1/2 years old when we got married. We both waited. Was it easy? Nope! But, it was worth it. What a precious wedding gift we gave to each other on our wedding night. Remember people, virginity is a gift once given that can never be taken back.
Now, to my OB nursing experience. I had several young girls as patients who wish they could take back their virginity. They wish they had it to do all over again, and be smarter about it the second time. Unfortunately, by the time they were with me, there was also another little life involved. They didn’t have any second chances, and they were heartbroken.
What about my 15 year old pregnant patient who was HIV positive? She was 14 when she was diagnosed. Yes, she was having consensual sex. It was her choice, she wasn’t coerced. Unfortunately, she got pregnant. Then there was a baby’s life to think about. I wish I knew how this story turned out. I don’t know if the baby ended up HIV positive or not. We don’t get the follow-up results. That is done by the pediatrician. This could have been avoided.
But, maybe she was like another 14 year old patient of mine. Her boyfriend told her that he loved her, and that’s why he wanted to have sex with her. She was a lovely young girl, very intelligent, hard-working at school, etc. I felt so sorry for her mother who couldn’t speak about this without bursting into tears. You see, she had made the mistake, too, and she didn’t want her daugther to go through what she went through. Maybe if there were a father in the picture, she wouldn’t have fallen for the “I love you, so I want to have sex with you” line. Men, take responsibility for your children.
As for those who feel that condoms are the be-all, end-all of AIDS/pregnancy prevention, let me tell you about my patient who was a married woman in a monogamous, faithful relationship. Yep, she was pregnant. Guess what kind of birth control they used. COMDOMS!! If you know about the research, you know that married people who used condoms as birth control use them more faithfully and correctly than those who aren’t married. So, if this married woman can get pregnant while using condoms, what are the possibilities of a sexually active single person getting AIDs/pregnant while using condoms?
What is your life worth, people? Condoms fail 10-30% of the time when used correctly. You’re playing Russian Roulette with your life if you think “safe sex” with condoms is the way to go. If you look at the percentages, that 1-3/10 times that the condom will fail, nevermind that only latex condoms hinder the AIDS virus. Are you willing to try that? How many times before you get HIV?
If you want to live a happy, healthy life emotionally, physically and sexually, abstain from sex before marriage. Then, only have sex with your spouse. Guess what? If everyone did that, we could eliminate STD’s.
Comment by Kiki B. — 10.14.04 @ 3:09 pm
Couple thoughts:
Napp - good info and not mutually exclusive to what LB is saying. Even so, I fail to see the great emotional and physical difficulty of saying “no”. Rape is a different story of course.
LB - boy, if I didn’t know you were a woman I’d think you were one heckuva man, because you got to have BIG KAHUNAS to say what you did. Say it Sister! Too many people just refuse to accept the concept of personal responsibility for their decisions and actions. The only cure for bad decisions is discipline and refusing to make them again. The only person that can do that is yourself.
Comment by michael — 10.14.04 @ 3:29 pm
Suppose a man is an ex-con who genuinely came to believe in Christ. Suppose he does not have HIV? Should he too be avoided?
Paul was a prisoner for his beliefs and today would be considered an ex-con.
Comment by J Thomas — 10.14.04 @ 3:37 pm
the world is at it again, lets de-sensitize the topic, Drudge talks about a hero’s (Green Arrow) sidekick is HIV-positive, what lesson is this going to teach children - how to be tolerant, isn’t this the way gays made it in the mainstream on our television, and in our courtrooms, this has got to be unacceptable, oh I’m sorry I forgot gay rights according to the world is like civil rights blacks fought for. Teaching our children abstinence and protecting their innocence is only the best policy. Go LB! extremely good analysis too, Kiki.
Comment by sergeantjones — 10.14.04 @ 3:38 pm
Even a saved ex-con needs to be tested for HIV if, while in prison…*fill in the blanks*
The point, Thomas, is not simply that a man has been imprisoned; it’s the activity conducted while there. Paul is not applicable here.
Comment by LB — 10.14.04 @ 3:42 pm
Can’t preach this message enough. I teach in a school where the STD and HIV infection rates are out of control. For the girls, it boils down to their self esteem and lack of self respect. They feel like they have to do what the boys want because that is the only way they will get attention.
Young boys know they have this “power” and use it mercilessly. They measure their self esteem by the number of conquests. Add to that the total lack of knowledge about sex and the transmission of diseases and it equals a disaster of epic proportions.
The other factor is the total lack of quality male role models for young men to look up to. With so many of their fathers gone, on drugs or in jail, they are raising themselves on hip-hop and gang violence where incorrect knowledge of being a man is passed on.
Today’s students ignore all the information that hard working teachers seek to point out, since they are young and “invincible.”
It is up to EVERYONE to spread the TRUTH and quit living in a moral relativism that further enslaves the black community in hopelessness and despair.
Comment by Chris Roberts — 10.14.04 @ 3:50 pm
How does one know if a governmental program or project is adequately funded?
To be effective vaginal microbicides must inexpensive, convenient, unobtrusive, and non-irritating to both partners. Any medication that acts as an irritant will recruit inflammatory cells to the site. Unfortunately, since HIV lives inside inflammatory cells, some medicines may actually appear to enhance HIV transmission.
Proof: HIV prevention studies performed by the public health departments in Baltimore and Dallas (I think) both independently found that treating the other STDs present in the patients dramatically decreased the transmission rates of HIV. They were able to correlate the decreased HIV transmission rates with decreased number of inflammatory cells in the genital region.
Unfortunately, viracidal agents tend to be more caustic than other microbicidal agents. Throwing more money at a problem doesn’t guarantee quicker success (sorry sK and libs everywhere). Penicillin was discovered by accident not after the government threw billions of dollars at research on antibiotics.
Comment by KLand — 10.14.04 @ 3:55 pm
I disagree LB. At least about Paul not applying. Paul applies in any situation wherein someone is jailed if they are indeed innocent. And we must consider that. These are the people I am talking about. Every prisoner does not acquire HIV nor do they participate in drug activity. I grant you that a significant portion does but there is a minority that does not. An HIV test is certainly applicable and I would advise anyone starting in a relationship to obtain one. For few of us know for certain where a potentital mate has been.
Comment by J Thomas — 10.14.04 @ 3:57 pm
One adjustment to my comment. Paul applies because the Bible applies in every situation.
Comment by J Thomas — 10.14.04 @ 3:59 pm
michael - the great emotional difficulty for some women in saying no is because they have based their entire worth on having a man “love” them. saying no or protecting themselves is a huge risk for such women because that would they would be alone.
it’s sad and ugly. but for some, very true.
M experience working with HIV-positive women was amazing. Despite their diversity, I would say that a major trait with many of them was self-esteem issues. What makes abstinence successful is that the person practicing it has value for him/herself. Now, this is not say that people who have sex out of marriage have low self-esteem; but, I would bet that people who are “serial monogamist” or just flat out promiscuous have some underlying issues there.
We live in a culture that has placed so much value and worth on sex and sexuality that we don’t look at our own inherent goodness. Instead, we go out seeking it in temporal and at times dangerous situations and relationships.
LB - I’m glad - and maybe even a bit scared - that you agree with me on something! ;o)
The message of abstinence falls on deaf ears until you get to the root of an individual’s behavior and the reason why they are doing what they are doing. Walking around quoting Scripture and damning people to Hell isn’t going to compel people to practice abstinence or take responsibility for their sexuality.
Comment by nappi — 10.14.04 @ 4:02 pm
Well Thomas, no standard is perfect and no test or circumstance has ever been 100 percent in the history of the world. But as a general rule, I’d still advise women concerned about HIV not to date an ex-con ESPECIALLY if she knows he’s engaged in certain prison activity AND he hasn’t been tested. You’re really nitpicking here. My advice remains the same, even if we’ll never ultimately know where our mates have been. You must have SOME criteria on which to base your decisions.
Nappi: Let’s be clear on this: People cannot damn each other to hell. They do that to themselves. And if I’m involved in faith-based counseling, for example, part of what I’d do is quote Scripture and share the Gospel. That is what I’d be doing and not just tell them how to have “safe sex.” Their spiritual condition is much more important to me, and that’s my focus. If you stick around here long enough you’ll know I quote Scripture. Those who don’t like it are free to visit the other 4.1 million other blogs on the web. But if a woman comes to me seeking advice, she’s going to hear about Jesus Christ.
These women can always opt for the standard government counseling program run by secular people who won’t quote Scripture.
Comment by LB — 10.14.04 @ 4:06 pm
Agreed LB. You are correct that there must be some criteria and with what you have selected, it is good advice.
I do not mean to inveigh against what you have chosen as criteria, and indeed, would not choose for my daughter an ex-con.
I suppose my desire to avoid labeling all in a group as bad, from a Christian perspective, was my motivation.
It is also different coming from a male perspective. Chances are that anyone I would have met would not be an ex-con…so I bring that to the discussion.
Cheers La Shawn
Comment by J Thomas — 10.14.04 @ 4:15 pm
Nice blog entry.
Pray for those whose husbands have cheated and the wives have not known or suspected. I place no fault with them.
Comment by DarkStar — 10.14.04 @ 4:25 pm
“We’re hearing a lot about ’safe sex’. Friends, sex was never meant to be un-safe.” — Adrian Rogers
“An estimated 65% of male inmates — even the straight ones — have sex”. With who, if they’re straight? I think if I’m ever sentenced to prison, I’ll kill myself first.
Comment by Mark Slater — 10.14.04 @ 4:31 pm
Just came across this blog today and this post caught my eye. I used to think I was old-fashioned, but reading things like this just make me feel old. What kind of world are we living in when the idea of women using preventative pesticides (for all intents and purposes) down there as part of her dressing up to go on a date ritual is open for serious discussion? Yikes! Although, in response to Laura’s comment about Lysol, Lysol, already openly marketed as safe for douching (double yikes!) was indeed surreptitiously marketed as a spermicide of sorts in the 1930’s. I’d link the article if I could, but unfortunately, I can’t here. And I don’t know if current spermicides have been tested HIV (probably), but I do recall a college “health” class many, many years ago where it was taught that spermicides had some effect on the herpes virus and perhaps other STDs.
Comment by Nora — 10.14.04 @ 4:44 pm
I understand that as a faith-based counselor, part of what you would do would be to quote Scripture. But, that cannot be ALL that you do. Sometimes as a counselor, you have to do more than merely impose your will and perspective on another person. If your goal in the counseling session is to promote an enriched spiritual condition, fine. But, sometimes you have to take people where they are and lead them there…and often times, merely quoting Scripture, that to someone who has led a sexually promiscous lifestyle comes of more as “damning” than encouraging.
And, from a *policy* perspective. The *policy* of many correctional *systems* of turning a blind eye to sex among male inmates and not provide condoms can be directly linked to the high incidence of HIV in prisons. Heaven forbid to ask the system who is entrusted with the care of individuals (and yes, i know they are criminals, so don’t start with that), to take some steps to protect their well-being. Providing access to condoms is a cheap and simple preventitive measure. So, the writer of the article is justified to point a finger at policy makers for contributing to the spread of HIV.
Comment by nappi — 10.14.04 @ 5:29 pm
La Shawn:
Thanks for telling it like it is—yet again.
People who blame W. for AIDS often reason thus: the government exists to defend rights; people have the right to have “consensual sex” whenever and with whomever without unpleasant consequences; therefore the government has to make sure that they can.
I would argue that the second premise is pretty questionable.
You often hear the following counter-argument: “abstinence is the ideal, but the reality is that people are going to have sex anyway, so let’s at least make sure it’s safe sex.”
The problem with this response, though, is that it takes for granted today’s sexual mores as an unquestion-able GIVEN. But why should it be . . . unless one thought that the only problem with those mores is their risk to bodily health, and not their risk to soul health (if you will permit me another old-fashioned word)?
To put it another way: it probably takes as much effort to get people to change their habits about condom use as it does to get them to change their sexual habits(otherwise advoactes of condoms would not be wringing their hands about lack of awareness of safe sex). Consequently, if your effort is going all in the direction of educating about condoms, and not about abstinence, perhaps it’s because you don’t really place as high a value on abstinence as you do on “safe sex.”
The issue, then, is whether we care enough about people to tell them the truth about behavior that degrades their dignity as people.
But there’s also a practical side to this. So long as we put all of our effort into condoms and such, while leaving in place the sexual behavior, the message we’re sending is that consensual sex with anyone anywhere is perfectly OK. But the more that attitude spreads, the more the problems—teenage pregnancy, venereal disease, etc., etc.—will spread. So that, by passing out condoms instead of trying to teach abstinence, we’ll just be multiplying the troubles that we claim to be curing with our safe-sex bandaids.
Of course, teaching abstinence will fail if we think of abstinence as just antother form of safe-sex, just another bandaid, rather than as an alternative to the culture of promiscuous “consensual sex.” What’s at stake, then, is nothing less than a whole vision of the human person and his or her sexuality. Of course, it’s tough to spread a vision of the human being (so much so that government may not be the most appropriate vehicle for this—the Churches have got to take responsibility for this). But, since what we’re talking about is human beings, and about their dignity as such, isn’t it worth the effort?
Adrian
Comment by adrian — 10.14.04 @ 5:43 pm
Simple Girl’s Guide For Avoiding AIDS? Because the electorate is full of crybabies who c […]
Comment by Crowhill — 10.14.04 @ 6:11 pm
Nappi - I guess I should have made this sentence clearer. I didn’t say that’s all I’d do, but I think you know what I meant. If not, here’s the sentence:
“That is what I’d be doing and not just tell them how to have “safe sex.”
As a Christian I know all about “taking people where they are.” It’s part of the Gospel message. That is, Christ wants us to come to him as we are. No need to clean up first.
A broken and a contrite heart - these, O God, You will not despise. Psalm 51:17
Comment by La Shawn — 10.14.04 @ 6:15 pm
Great thread here…
I love it most when someone with a “secular” mindset throws out the more money comments, safe sex education etc….
We’ve tired that for decades…
Has it worked?
Ummm…obviously NO! or we would not be here on this thread reading this post.
Teaching personal responsibility and accountabily, and the consequences of our actions can go a LONG way (more so than a condom anyday), but that all ceased when the government decided to get involved in “how” (or “how we don’t”) raise our children and decided to give that job to the education system. Wrong Answer. Now we have grown adults who don’t know yes from no, right from wrong, and every decision they make is someone elses responsibility. Sometimes enough is enough and you have to let people learn the hard way (it’s like talking to a brick wall).
Comment by Renee — 10.14.04 @ 6:41 pm
Good discussion going on. I take a lot of issues with the whole pimp daddy, ho, dawg and what not attitudes and see it as part of the vicious downward spiral to total depravity.
With three young sons and a daughter, my wife and i know that our greatest challenge is protecting their innocence from the constant onslaught of instant gratification and objectifying fellow humans. In that sense, I guess we are like Noah and his family, keeping the faith while the world aroundthem — hunters of man, sexual depravity; sounds almost like our progressive day & age — mocked God as they went to hell en masse.
Comment by Andy — 10.14.04 @ 7:04 pm
It seems that racial slurs are off-limits to Dems., but slurs against the mentally retarded are not. See Powerline’s second post for today. It’s pretty disgusting to see how low the Dems. stoop. It’s cruel, too.
http://www.powerlineblog.com/
Comment by Kiki B. — 10.14.04 @ 8:08 pm
sargeantjones:
“the world is at it again, lets de-sensitize the topic, Drudge talks about a hero’s (Green Arrow) sidekick is HIV-positive,”
Wait, WHAT?! I’ve been reading comics for nearly my entire life, and I’m currently reading both Green Arrow and Outsiders (where Roy Harper is currently appearing), and I’ve never heard anything about this.
Comment by Robin S. — 10.14.04 @ 8:36 pm
“An even bigger problem, says Talata Reeves, director of women’s and family services for New York’s Gay Men’s Health Crisis, is that there is still no AIDS prevention tool that a woman can use that does not require the consent of a man. ”
Ummmm… NO seems to do the trick for me.
“Too often, notes Reeves, poor women cannot insist on either of those options. “If you don’t have an income and he does, or if you don’t have another way of feeding your children, or if you are an immigrant and undocumented,” it is harder to demand anything — be it condom use or marriage — from a partner.”
Ummmmm… again… NO seems to work for me.
Again, the typical spray weed killer on it as opposed to killing the the weed at the root, so it comes back stronger and worse later on.
Comment by Renee — 10.14.04 @ 9:10 pm
Using a condom should be called “slightly less risky” sex instead of safe sex.
Comment by Evon Bachaus — 10.14.04 @ 9:41 pm
““An even bigger problem, says Talata Reeves, director of women’s and family services for New York’s Gay Men’s Health Crisis, is that there is still no AIDS prevention tool that a woman can use that does not require the consent of a man. ”
Ummmm… NO seems to do the trick for me.”
That requires the consent of a man. Not much of a problem in some parts, but a problem in more patriarchical societie.
Comment by actus — 10.16.04 @ 2:12 pm
“John Q” movie marathon…
Forget about the Sinclair group getting ready to run “Stolen Honor” to help inform the people about Kerry’s questionable character, but am I the only one who has noticed Turner run cable stations running a marathon of the Denzel Washington “Hillarycare” ad in movie form called “John Q?” And yes, Hillary and Bill Clinton do make appearances in the movie.
The timing of the running of this political ad posing as a movie is quite suspect so don’t fret Sinclair. Johnny boy is getting and has received more than his fair share of equal time.
Raymond C. Coleman
Tampa, FL
Comment by Raymond C. Coleman — 10.17.04 @ 12:01 pm
CARNIVAL OF THE VANITIES, EPISODE #109
Once upon a time, in a land far, far away…uh, wait, wrong story…. It was a dark and stormy night…no, that’s not it, either…. Slowly, gently, with a touch that belied her barely-restrained passion…her gentle fingers,…
Trackback by The People's Republic of Seabrook — 10.20.04 @ 1:37 am
Carnival #109
The Carnival of the Vanities is hosted this week by Jack Cluth’s People’s Republic of Seabrook. He’s a leftish (and recently hairless) blogger, and I must say that I admire his gracious handling of the rightish posts. It’s a good-natured,…
Trackback by Classical Values — 10.20.04 @ 9:09 am