Update (9:03 p.m.): This is unbelievable. I won something? I never win anything! And I beat Hugh Hewitt. Cool. Thank you very much. My peers chose my blog for Best Evangelical Blog-Politics. 
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Yesterday my pastor told us how God got his attention.
He said that as a young man, he knew better than to make absolute declarations about the non-existence of God, so he consider himself agnostic rather than an atheist. He conceded it was possible God existed but that there was no way of knowing whether God existed.
One day he was reading The Book of Acts (for some reason I wasn’t taking notes, so I can’t remember why he was reading the Bible), and two words made an impression on him: “stood up” in Acts 2:14. Those two words changed his life. Why?
Acts is a record of the early Christian church and how it was formed. We read that after Christ’s resurrection, he came to the disciples and told them to go to Jerusalem and wait for the “Promise of the Father.” Christ had promised that after he was gone, he’d send a “Helper” who would teach them all things and remind them of what Jesus said when he was with them, all the prophecies and promises he’d made.
When a person is “saved,” that is, when God has forgiven his sins, God, in the person of the Holy Spirit, comes to “live” inside him. (What is the trinity?) On the day called Pentecost, the Holy Spirit came to the disciples as promised. Jews from all over were in Jerusalem for the annual feast of Pentecost, and these men spoke a variety of different languages. Through the miraculous power of God, the disciples began to speak to these men in their own languages, so that each man understood. This is where we get the idea of “speaking in tongues.”
Some of the men praised God because of this miracle. Others mocked the disciples, saying they’d had too much wine. The apostle Peter, who, out of fear, had three times denied that he was a follower of Christ, stood up before the mockers and said the men weren’t drunk. They’d been indwelt by the Holy Spirit, and this miracle was foretold by the prophet Joel.
The turning point in my pastor’s his life was when he read about the once-cowardly Peter fearlessly confronting this hostile crowd, some of whom had delivered their Savior to Pontius Pilate, and boldly bearing witness to Jesus Christ. He was struck by the sincere beliefs of the apostles (although at the time my pastor still didn’t believe the Resurrection ever happened) and how most of them were killed for the faith. Some say the apostle Peter was crucified upside down.
While he didn’t believe the biblical account, my pastor was so impressed with Peter’s sudden boldness, he became more curious about this God Peter worshiped. Many of you may have read about how I came to Christ in, “A Sobering Truth”. It was the realization that there’d never be enough alcohol in the world to satisfy me, and I’d never be good enough for God that got my attention. My heart began to soften and cry out for mercy.
I have a question for Christian readers:
How did God get your attention? How did he begin to “soften” your hardened heart?
To agnostic readers, has something happened in your life or in the world that convinces you more every day that God exists or at least has you thinking about God more often?
In retrospect, I was an agnostic. I knew there was something out there greater than myself. I just didn’t know who or what it was. Somehow I knew that God, whoever he/she/it was, had something better in mind for me. His will is that believers share the Gospel, make disciples among the nations and glorify him. It’s the same plan he had for Peter, and it’s the same plan he has for my pastor, you and me.
Awsome testimony! I have been reading your blog for some time now and have enjoyed your writing and style. Now I know why. Keep up the good work and faith. I am going to put Lashawn Barber on my daily prayer list and pray that God has prepared a man just for you and that He leads you to him at the perfect time. God bless you sister. You are truly amazing.
Comment by Jim Prince — 02.07.05 @ 9:28 am
Excellent post, La Shawn. I too was what I like to call a functional atheist. Yes, I believe a God existed, but had no impact on people’s lives whatsoever, least of all, mine.
In this “fully evangelized” nation of ours, I didn’t hear a clear and full presentation of the gospel message until I was 27 years old! I knew nothing of the Bible at all or God’s promises. You would think that I would have picked up something from all those years at Catholic mass, but alas nothing.
My heart was extremely hardened. Even after accepting the Lord, I turned away and went through a long period of open rebellion for which I am still in remorse. But, it helps to know that God will forgive us our sins. The past is the past, and we must move on.
Thanks again, La Shawn. Also, thanks for posting on a topic other than Eason Jordan. All of the normal conservative blogs I read have posted about nothing other than this for five solid days now. Talk about overkill! I think those folks need to accept the fact that the MSM is NOT going to cover this despicable episode and just move on. The life is being sucked out of other things.
Comment by Tom B. — 02.07.05 @ 10:00 am
LaShawn,
I remember some 19 years ago now. The last day of Febuary will live with me forever. That was the last time I ever did drugs in my life. Short time later I was completely deliverd from bondage by being Baptised in the NAME according to Acts 2:38-39. One year later I gave up smoking for good as well.
My life now is so much better having a relationship with HIM. I have had dreams come true seems like everyday. I have hope for eternity.
And it began by taking his NAME, and doing it his way. Just like he told the Disciples to do it.
That is just a small bit of what he has done for me- if you would like more just email me and I will give you my whole testimony.
Comment by IKW3804 — 02.07.05 @ 10:57 am
Hi LaShawn,
Wow - what a great testimony! I’m printing it out to keep it, and may use it sometime in the Christ Centered Recovery Program we’re going to start in my church shortly - if you don’t mind.
God bless you and keep going!!
Comment by Louie Marsh — 02.07.05 @ 11:21 am
Good post! I was very fortunate - I came from a devout Christian family and accepted Christ as a pre-teen; however, I have “turned my back” on Christ several times in my life - as an adult I have finally turned to the light for good (with the strength of the Holy Spirit) and strive to make the right choices; although difficult at times I am happier for my choice…
Many who where saved young get complacent in your outspokenness and it seems that for the most part those that were saved later in life have a stronger fire burning - not that this is right, but it seems to be the case… I have witnessed more outspokenness from lifelong Christians lately and believe it is the “subtle” persecution over the years and many, including my self, have taken to heart “not to be ashamed” - better late then never I guess!
Again - good post!
Comment by Woody — 02.07.05 @ 11:34 am
What got my attention?
…The wind blows (breathes) where it wills; and though you hear its sound, yet you neither know where it comes from nor where it is going… (John 3:8)
Cannot explain other than the presence of the Holy Spirit. Where was the evidence? What was the perception? Went off like a gunshot, and I KNEW this was real. Of course this was in response to several weeks of nagging, a disgruntled feeling. (that could be felt over all sorts of drug taking etc.) It was like, there is MORE…
Comment by Desmond Lloyd — 02.07.05 @ 12:28 pm
One day, in a bad year, I simply got up and drove to St. Nicholas Orthodox Cathedral, and I’ve been there since then.
Comment by Lola — 02.07.05 @ 12:50 pm
I was at a presentation by an evangelist (name temporarily forgotten, though it is in my diaries somewhere). The year was 1963. The evangelist spoke of what Jesus said as being like the cage in which a canary is kept: the purpose of the cage is to KEEP THE BIRD ALIVE. I saw for the first time that God had been calling to me since I was young, protecting me, guarding me, desiring to be in fellowship with me. The teachings of Jesus were not to deny me fun; they were to make possible my living the fullest sort of life. So I called on the name of the Lord and Jesus came into my life.
Comment by Tom Johnson — 02.07.05 @ 1:57 pm
La Shawn,
A particularly poignant post, especially from my point of view.
What your pastor went through in his younger days is what I feel I’m going through right now.
Raised in a semi-strict Catholic home, my parents’ expected my attendance at church every week. Because of this I was often resentful towards religion in general and Catholicism in particular.
Your comment about your pastor not “mak[ing] absolute declarations about the non-existence of God” is exactly one of the reasons I named my website what it is. I don’t buy those who absolutely don’t believe in God…because I–and they–simply don’t know.
Who knows where I’ll be faithfully in 20 years. But, it was nice reading about someone who went through what I’m going through right now.
Comment by Mike M. — 02.07.05 @ 3:04 pm
La Shawn,
I am curious. You say now that you were agnostic then, because you sensed there was something greater than yourself out there. If someone had asked you at the time, would you have said you were agnostic or atheist? I read Romans 1:20 to mean everyone has that awareness of God, and no one is really completely athiest, even if they say they are. Did you experience it that way?
Comment by Dory — 02.07.05 @ 4:55 pm
I would’ve said I was a Christian, Dory. Of course, I wasn’t saved, but I grew up going to church, and I knew I lived in a “Christian” country and I wasn’t a Muslim or a Buddhist, so I said I was a “Christian.”
Comment by La Shawn — 02.07.05 @ 5:26 pm
La Shawn,
Oh, I see. You’re one of those who had to get unsaved before she could get saved!
What you said reminded me of a friend I had as a kid. I asked her what religion she was and she said, “I’m half and half. Mom’s Catholic and Dad is Jewish.” When I asked her which one she believed, she got a puzzled look on her face and then said, “I believe both my parents.”
Comment by Dory — 02.07.05 @ 6:03 pm
Woody’s is an apt summary of my experience. In God’s eyes, I believe if you’re straddling the fence, you’re still not in the fold.
The one thing I’d like to emphasize is that when I now look back at the phases where I was too embarassed to let others know of my Faith, I have to wonder, “how in the world could I have been ashamed of the Gospel?” Just for someone’s worldly & temporal approval? [shaking head]
Bottomline, I’m glad the Lord saw fit to let me not die while I was in denial, otherwise, I’d be denied at Judgement Day. Now my challenge is to train up my children in the way they should go… and pray that they’ll survive their lukewarm phases. I like Tom J’s bird cage analogy and will use it on them.
Comment by Andy — 02.07.05 @ 6:35 pm
Mike M. I’m praying for you.
Comment by Andy — 02.07.05 @ 6:36 pm
I would have considered myself Christian before I really was one. I knew about God, but I didn’t know God. I went through a period where I felt totally CRUSHED under the weight of my sin. Finally one day, I said “look, I know You’ve forgiven me because of Your Son. Maybe I just need to somehow forgive myself.” In retrospect, it seems totally wrong, but still a confession of faith. A few weeks later, I was led to a small Church where I had a completely eye-opening, knock me off my horse in a Paul sort of way, spiritual experience, and I’ve never been the same since. I’ve known since then with every fiber of my being that God’s real, Jesus is who He said he was, and every word of the Bible is true. What an incredible gift!!!
Comment by Susie — 02.07.05 @ 7:16 pm
Although already a Christian, I had turned from God and was doing my own thing. Fighting a critical long term illness brought me back. I always heard about the still small voice, this has felt more like a 2×4.
Comment by Jim C — 02.07.05 @ 7:38 pm
Well, I went through a ‘pagan’ period, where I rejected Christianity, then a Buddhist period, where I accepted it but did not follow it, and then finally I let Jesus back into my life about ten/eleven months ago and I don’t think I’ve ever been happier. ::blows kisses::
Bobby
(female btw)
Comment by Bobby — 02.07.05 @ 9:22 pm
Well, Mike, I’d rather err on the side of believing that the living God is real than doubting or straight-up disbelieving. You have so much to lose in your unbelief.
Aside from the historicity and reliablity of the Bible and Jesus’ own words, the changes made in the lives of people who become “saved” are miraculous.
I will be praying for you as well, and feel free to e-mail me if you want to “talk” more about it.
Comment by La Shawn — 02.07.05 @ 10:05 pm
I was in a very bad period of my life. One night I was all alone in a silence that was deafening. I awoke in the morning and knew that I was not alone.
I was raised in an observant Jewish home. I learned to fear God, all right, but somehow I missed the message of His lovingkindness. I never learned that God cared for me, except for fear that he would strike me dead or otherwise punish me. I prayed for some things, but never believed my prayers were heard.
In my family, the emphasis I picked up was adherance to rules: two sets of dishes, etc. Also some of my folks worried more about other people’s observance than about their own.
Comment by Miriam Sawyer — 02.08.05 @ 2:33 am
Why Should I Blog?
I started this blogging thing a month or so ago for real. In that time, I’ve had a couple of semi-high profile links from places like Captain’s Quarters, Michelle Malkin, and LaShawn Barber. I’ve learned how to play the trackback game, taking ever…
Trackback by Myopic Zeal — 02.08.05 @ 8:32 am
How did God get your attention? How did he begin to “soften” your hardened heart? LB
I was in bed late one night and was watching TV. Flipping thru the channels I stopped at TBN and listened to a preacher from Gary, In. Dr. EV Hill. He had a message on “The Daddy In Hell”.
Next night I went foward in a Southern Baptist church and gave my life to Jesus.
Comment by Don — 02.08.05 @ 9:40 am
The MSM’s hatred of America and freedom is just beyond imagination.
Comment by Rod Stanton — 02.08.05 @ 5:28 pm
Getting my attention
One night, praying desperately, sobbing bitterly, physically exhausted and utterly spent, I collapsed in a wretched heap and gave up. It was in that moment of surrender that God answered my prayer more clearly than ever in my life. …I knew to whom I …
Trackback by Borgard Blog — 02.08.05 @ 5:49 pm
My first memories of God ’speaking’ to me are when I was three years old. I was absolutely filled with the Holy Spirit and feel it was a gift given to me at baptism through faithful parents. I add this account because I sometimes fear the way we discuss the Holy Spirit implies you have to be ‘older,and following the wrong path” to have a fully realized experience with the Holy Spirit. At various times in my life I have been warmer and cooler in my active faith life, but the Holy Spirit has never left me.
For those of you who had a ‘rules oriented’ upbringing, do not be so hard on your parents. They were doing the will of God to the best of their knowledge/understanding, and God has used your upbringing to strengthen your faith. Many ‘lapsed’ or ‘weak’ christians who follow their own path for awhile due to lack of understanding,come back because God did reach them through their upbringing, and planted the seeds that developed later. Faith is given by God, not created by understanding.
La Shawn, King David was beloved by God, and a true follower, even when he went down the wrong path. It would be wrong to say he was a follower, then he wasn’t a follower, then he was again. Instead, he was weaker and stronger at various points in his life. Perhaps you really were a christian all your life….just weaker at some moments, and stronger now. Our salvation is not based on our understanding — otherwise no one would be saved.
Just my two cents — but sincerely felt.
Comment by PDN — 02.08.05 @ 9:20 pm
Very well put PDN.
Comment by M. La Roi — 02.08.05 @ 9:34 pm
Scene and Herd: Christian History and Latest Happenings
The axe is laid to the root of the tree…
A few people have been writing about how/why they became Christians. See these posts from Rebecca Writes, Adrian Warnock, and this from La Shawn Barber on the Apostle Peter, her pastor, and you and me. She…
Trackback by Allthings2all — 02.10.05 @ 6:49 am
Hey, LaShawn! Crosswalk.com has some excellent bible study tools along with Gospelcom.net. peace!
http://bible1.crosswalk.com/
Mdeberry
Montgomery, alabama
Comment by mdeberry — 02.10.05 @ 9:40 am