…to show vulnerability.
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Here’s A Man With The Courage…
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Pretty good, telling the truth to the Hollywood glib-glam lies.
Ain’t just about black men; his voice sure spoke to me. I imagine it will to too many others. Thanks for the posting. DC
“I assured him that if he thought the grass was greener on the other side, it was because mine is Astroturf–he has real grass.”
What a great line –I loved this article…
I thought he was showing what alot of people dont see until very late in life….all this chasing after women…being ‘free’ is all vanity. I think he is realizing, that a real relationship with a real woman that is his wife is really the most satisfying. Marriage takes work…and it isnt easy…but well worth it. After almost 23 years….it just gets better, because first of all we have the Lord at the center of our lives, but also we are still learning and growing. We are being a student of our spouse. We are involved in a great marriage conference that is featured on the site Familylife.com. It is awesome. It is God’s blueprint for marriage.
I was also struck by his open heart in describing his life. It was very good. Thanks for giving us the article to read.
My experience is similar … I’m now pushing 40 and have finally found “the one”. Honestly, when I was 20 or 30, it woulda been a huge mistake to settle down. For one thing, I hadn’t met the right person. But I also just wasn’t … dare I say … MATURE enough … (not that I’m all that mature now).
So I, too, lived the bachelor life and didn’t always enjoy it.
Everybody has to go at their own pace. Keep your eye out for “the one”, but don’t stress over it. In the mean time, enjoy the people you meet … and don’t try too hard. Cool stuff tends to happen when you’re just “flowing” through life.
I’ve been married for a very long time, since I was 22. Can’t imagine NOT being married. It keeps me level and provides order in my life.
Mr. James will find “the one” at some point, I’m sure, given his sincerity. My best friend swore he would be a bachelor forever when he was 22 because, as he put it, no woman would have him. Well, I was his best man when he was 29.
It happens when we least expect it.
I find it funny that people with someone think it’s so easy to find someone…It’s not. I’m 40 this summer, single and hating it. But can’t find the one person that I would like to be with (that isn’t already taken).
*shrug* I agree with him. Men aren’t committment phobic. I just can’t find the right person. And I’m sick of looking.
How about learning to enjoy life as it sits before you vs assuming that there is some mythical ‘One’ that is meant for you that supposed to make you life complete. Complete your life, and the right woman will be attracted to you because of that.
” set yourself on things above and not on this world,for the world is passing away, and your life is but a vapor.”
I have to say that I agree with the man 100%. I m in the process of settling down with a beautiful sister. She often ask if I missed the yearly march to South Beach with the fellas or the Friday nights playing pool, drinking beer or if I miss coming home to nothing but silence and a full evening of television. I tell her I don’t miss it at all. I enjoy coming home and hearing my step-daughter call my name, ask to play with her. I enjoy sitting down for dinner with the two of them and lounge in comfortable silence. I watch Sleeping Beauty every night and I sit and talk or argue with my girl until lights out. It is a beautiful life and I can say that there is nothing about being single that comes close to it. I’ve even talked her into not making me go to the afternoon church service during football season… I’m having my cake and eat it too. How cool is that?
I believe he says it right. You can be happy in life, but not happy to be single.
I never said I wasn’t happy in life. Just not happy to be single. Please read next time.
Nothing new about Mr. James’ troubles:
“Good Lord, for alliance! Thus goes every one to the world but I, and I am sunburnt; I may sit in a
corner and cry heigh-ho for a husband!”
William Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing (Act II, sc. 1)
It’s not easy finding somebody, mostly (I think) because we all suffer from expectations that are too high. He/she is too fat, or he/she doesn’t make enough money, or he/she doesn’t want children, or he/she wants children and I don’t, or whatever.
This fellow James seems to be a decent-looking chap, and shouldn’t have too much trouble finding a woman. Let him trade places with me: fat, boring, and with an unpleasant personality.
I don’t like vulnerability.
It makes me nervous.
Eulalie, that sounds like K.A.O.S
It will be my ten year anniversary tomorrow, and I am 32 with 5 kids…sometimes I do long for that ‘freedom’ of singlehood, but then I remember when I was ‘free’ I wasn’t that happy. I can’t imagine being single at my age now with no kids. I probably would be in jail or wayyyyyy…out there.
Just goes to the natural God inspired longing in all of for purpose and the completeness that comes when a man and a woman are committed to each for life for better, for worse. And I don’t envy the ’single life’ either. Most of the young single folk I know are miserable, self-absorbed, fumbling through relationships, and bored out of their minds.
My wife and I are very fortunate and blessed to have 25 years together. We are complete opposites, we drive each other crazy, and we probably would not match up on match.com. The only things we have in common are the things that matter most: loving God and loving each other. (By the way, you’ll possibly spend an entire lifetime learning what it means to love God with all your heart, mind and strength; and what it means to love your neighbor as yourself)…
Peace!!! :0) mdeberry
I feel his pain. Mr. James did not say whether or not he was a Christian. If he did mention it, I missed it. A relationship with Christ makes the burdens of life easier to bear. May the Lord grant Mr.James his wishes, and more importantly, may Mr.James come to know Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior if he not already done so.
Steve
On the flipside, if one is called to serve the Lord as St. Paul was, being married can be a distraction to the work and a curse to wife and/or kids.
In any case God always answers prayers: Yes, No & Wait.
Watched pots never boil. Best to relax and let true love sneak up on you.
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