Are you an out-of-work publicist embittered with eeking out a “living” off the backs of stingy taxpayers who won’t vote for an increase in your unemployment benefits?
Does your present trying-to-revive-a-dead-tree PR job pale in comparison to the challenges and excitement of promoting the world’s preeminent news magazine? Perhaps you’re simply frustrated by the “objective reporting” facade at your current liberal media job and seek something more blatantly partisan. Newsweek may be the place for YOU!
You will also interact with top editors and counsel reporters for interviews, promote breaking news on the internet, place photos from Newsweek events in trade publications, promote special issues, assist with awards entries, and update and monitor biographies and headshots. (Source)
The ability and desire to incite Muslim riots and harm the U.S. cause abroad is a must. You should be willing and able to engage in pass-the-buck parlor games on a weekly basis, embrace moral equivalency, particularly important in this present age of terrorism, while maintaining just enough moral ambiguity so as to render yourself unable to denounce the horrors of decapitation, especially when done in the name of Allah.
Photos of suspected terrorists wearing panties as head gear should be grievously galling to you and a violation of your sensibilities as a proud American who expects better of our military even as you publicize stories that undermine the same military at every turn.
Newsweek is an Equal Opportunity Employer. People of various hues are encouraged to apply. While we can’t promise diversity of viewpoint, we try to make sure we have just enough black faces around to keep the professional civil rights industry off our backs. Hiring the best candidate for the job is an idealistic but unattainable goal in these litigious times. Besides, we get enough bad press as it is. Which is why we want to hire YOU.
Outspoken and judgmental black female Christian fundamentalist conservatives need not apply.
{ 7 trackbacks }
{ 35 comments }
Absolutely brilliant!
I think, perhaps, I detect the slightest little hint of sarcasm there, La Shawn.
Next time, don’t hold back.
LOL LOL LOL
ROFLOL
Oh that was absolutely fabulous! lol lol
You made me cry with this one. Too funny
I would love it if they had let you write job opening.
LOL, La Shawn! I know you were being sarcastic, but it’s true…..
La Shawn “The Hammer” Barber.
Hittin’ the nail on the head.
Ouch.
This ought to get some serious exposure for it’s pointedness.
Wow. The level of sarcasm. You make me proud.
Maybe they can hire people to read today’s washington post.
You do have a gift for humor. It’s good to start the day with a laugh.
Democrat hanky-heads welcome, of course.
Man, High Five
APPLY Actus !
Yes, I second it. I’ll even give you an excellent letter of reference.
Well, the talk-show gig and the Dreamworks gig fell through, maybe I’ll give it a shot. As long as the interns aren’t too skinny.
William Jefferson Clinton
Oh god no. My gf is in journalism. The people she has to put up with.
Hanky heads? Towel heads is more like it.
This on Yahoo News today: I added text in brackets []
ISLAMABAD, Pakistan – Thousands of Muslims marched Friday in Islamic countries from Asia to the Middle East, burning symbols of America to protest the alleged [by liberals] desecration of the Quran by military personnel at a U.S. prison in Guantanamo, Bay, Cuba. The rallies in Pakistan, Egypt, Lebanon, Indonesia, Malaysia and elsewhere followed an admission Thursday by U.S. investigators that Islam’s holy book was mishandled at Guantanamo. But American officials claimed it was often inadvertent and denied that any Qurans were flushed down a toilet, as Newsweek magazine had reported in a now-retracted article.
Oh my, LB. Brutal! Totally brutal! And totally hilarious.
I’ve got one better than that:
CBS is accepting applications into their “Diversity Writers Mentorship Program”.
You submit them two full spec scripts, a Letter of Interest, your bio, and a notorized submissions slip swearing that the scripts are yours and not plagiarized. (Always nice to see how CBS trusts its aspiring writers of color).
And what do you get if chosen for this prestigious progam?
Not employment. No money. They’ll simply look at your scripts, give you career advice, and bestow the privilege of meeting select network executives.
Such a deal.
I can’t believe I’m actually running around getting ready to submit my application for this nonsense.
But, if I’m selected (and I really hope I’m not) I’ll definitely do an insider blog about all the idiocy going on at that network. If they aren’t paying me, and it’s not bona fide employment…..they’re not gonna get confidentiality from me! No way!
Hey, I hear PBS is hiring. Can’t imagine what the pay is over there. The chance to interact with Bill Moyers……assistant, is supposed to make it career-worthy, I guess.
LaShawn,
Would Newsweek print articles by Thomas Sowell, Michelle Malkin, or any conservative? I bet they would not consider it. I feel the the MSM should showcase conservative persons’ articles. I seldom hear Rush because of the time of day. However, I heard him say that NPR stands for “National Propaganda Radio”. Is not PBS and NPR paid for by the taxpayer? Why are the liberals afraid most of someone that is a conservative Christian and female. Would Janice Rogers Brown on the Supreme Court take us back to Civil War as some in Congress have claimed? How about Chief Justice Janice Rogers Brown! We should thank all veterans for the right to free speech in this country!
James M. Barber
La Shawn,
Thanks, I really needed a good laugh today. Who knew you had such a gift for humor!
BTW La Shawn, that last little disclaimer lists many of the qualities that I (and most of your other loyal readers, I’m sure) like about you
Thanks, Montie.
Have a great weekend, everybody!
*GRIN*
You know La Shawn they just must hire you, just to “prove” they are unbaised, fair, etc.
Brad
La Shawn- That was terrific! How funny… just grin a little at those flag burning protests and you ought to be alright.
Will NEWSWEEK hire MICHEAL MOORE? to be their cheif of left-wing propeganda?
firebird, MM can film, but can he write?
He can film, he can write and he can speak. What he can’t do is to tell the truth.
Nor, by all appearances, can he shave or bathe.
Really funny stuff! Was sent here from a post on IMAO! You should send a copy to Newsweek! Love it!
La Shawn, APPLY APPLY! Be a rebel rouser!!!
Hiring Michael Moore. I’d bet they would.
Newsweek IS fair and balanced. Their writers are left and far-left. Isn’t that balanced?
La Shawn, that was brilliant! I’d like to add something to it:
“Those seeking employment must be willing to campaign for a government program started by FDR that gives you fifty dollars for every thousand it takes in the name of your ’security.’”
Shayne
“Newsweek IS fair and balanced. Their writers are left and far-left. Isn’t that balanced?”
When I used to read newsweek they had george will on. Is he still there?
I thought it was the actual want ad NewsWeek placed in the newspaper until I started reading the comments. At least that’s what I would have expected them to write if they were hiring.
no, not towel heads, little sheet heads (oops – did I really write that?!)
I used to write Christianity-based essays for school, just to see if the teacher would give me a bad mark…
*giggles evilly*
Don’t tempt me, LaShawn. Not only am I looking, I’d make a *great* double agent/saboteur. Mwah ha ha ha ha!
Comments on this entry are closed.