Are you an out-of-work publicist embittered with eeking out a “living” off the backs of stingy taxpayers who won’t vote for an increase in your unemployment benefits?
Does your present trying-to-revive-a-dead-tree PR job pale in comparison to the challenges and excitement of promoting the world’s preeminent news magazine? Perhaps you’re simply frustrated by the “objective reporting” facade at your current liberal media job and seek something more blatantly partisan. Newsweek may be the place for YOU!
You will also interact with top editors and counsel reporters for interviews, promote breaking news on the internet, place photos from Newsweek events in trade publications, promote special issues, assist with awards entries, and update and monitor biographies and headshots. (Source)
The ability and desire to incite Muslim riots and harm the U.S. cause abroad is a must. You should be willing and able to engage in pass-the-buck parlor games on a weekly basis, embrace moral equivalency, particularly important in this present age of terrorism, while maintaining just enough moral ambiguity so as to render yourself unable to denounce the horrors of decapitation, especially when done in the name of Allah.
Photos of suspected terrorists wearing panties as head gear should be grievously galling to you and a violation of your sensibilities as a proud American who expects better of our military even as you publicize stories that undermine the same military at every turn.
Newsweek is an Equal Opportunity Employer. People of various hues are encouraged to apply. While we can’t promise diversity of viewpoint, we try to make sure we have just enough black faces around to keep the professional civil rights industry off our backs. Hiring the best candidate for the job is an idealistic but unattainable goal in these litigious times. Besides, we get enough bad press as it is. Which is why we want to hire YOU.
Outspoken and judgmental black female Christian fundamentalist conservatives need not apply.
