Several years ago, author Terry McMillian married a man over 20 years her junior who inspired the novel How Stella Got Her Groove Back.
A middle-aged woman burned out from the pressures of fame, life, and writing deadlines goes on vacation and meets a 20-year-old man. They “fall in love,” marry, and live happily ever after, right? Of course not. The corny fairy tale has ended. McMillan and her stud are getting a divorce, and things are getting nasty.
Who among us didn’t know or could not have guessed that a 20-something, poor, Jamaican, college dropout wanted to marry a pushing-50, wealthy, American woman because she was wealthy and American? The whole set-up, stunningly predictable and too ridiculous for words, made me gag. I knew the moment I heard about it that the kid was after her money and a green card. As it turns out, the kid was after her money and a green card.
Is it possible that an intelligent woman like McMillan wasn’t wise to the scam, blinded by love? She was smart enough to make him sign a prenuptial agreement, but come on. Six years with someone means he learns a lot about you, and now the disgruntled Jamaican stud plans to write a tell-all-the-private-dirt about life with McMillan. Did I mention that he’s a homosexual? Almost forgot.
After moderately enjoying the novel Waiting to Exhale eons ago, I went to see the movie when it came out. It was one of the worse spectacles I’d ever seen. Since then I’ve never read another McMillan book or seen a McMillan movie.
Now I might be interested in reading a book called How Stella Lost Her Groove For Good and Hopefully Will Never Look For It In the Clutches of a Faithless Young Homosexual Stud Who’s After Her Money and a Green Card.
(Image courtesy of ABC News)
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That photo! Does anyone mistake him for being straight?
Ouch! You are rockin’ today, La Shawn
BTW, I *liked* the movie version of WTE … perhaps because at that time I was waiting to exhale myself?
Yeah, that is an ugly dude. If she wanted to get her groove back, she could have least took a little time and not grabbed a mutant.
I was watching Conan O’Brien last week when he cracked a joke .. something like this ..
Author Terry McMillan of How Stella Got Her Groove Back divorced her lover because she found out he was gay. How did she find out he was gay? She came home early one day and saw him watching How Stella Got Her Groove Back. Haha.
People love to indulge in fairy tales. The problem with those is that somebody always gets it in the end.
That is NOT a joke about him!!
When the book (and then the movie) came out, I remember thinking that it was one of those classic “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” things. Every male I knew, black or white, knew right from the get-go that this kid was after her money. But the gals all mooned and sighed and warbled about how romantic it all was.
I’m not saying that men are immune from this kind of silliness; in fact, men are probably much more prone to mid-life crises of this kind. But I think men are, deep down, far less deluded about the sex/love quotient of the situation than women are.
La Shawn suggests the next book be called: “How Stella Lost Her Groove For Good and Hopefully Will Never Look For It In the Clutches of a Faithless Young Homosexual Stud Who’s After Her Money and a Green Card.”
I’m thinking Ms. McMillan and Ms. Jane Fonda can remake “Thelma and Louise” and get on Fonda’s cross country bus powered by vegetable oil (or salad dressing, I don’t care) and when they reach the Grand Canyon everyone in America get to vote for the ending in one big reality TV blowout.
And no matter how it ends, Larry King will interview them and go with them.
LOL. Suckah!
You guys are killing me with this thread
Heliotrope your suggestion is two thumbs up at the moment.
Could it be poetic justice for a person who has made a living making Black men look like demons and exacerbating our image stereotypes while ignoring the oft equally or moreso demonic behavior of the Black female?
I don’t know which one of the “hate hits” came out first, but you’d think one would have learned the lessons taught by the backlash generated by “The Color Purple.” That stupid, hateful movie set Black male-female relations back light years.
Now Black men have to deal with Black women getting their relationship advice from silly novels, dumb movies and formerly gay “getchomoney ministers” as opposed to common sense, natural order and God Himself.
She (Terry McMillan) is a very angry and bitter woman, and I don’t mean because her marriage is over. She was that way long before marrying and her marriage ending this way is merely a consequence of that fact.
Terry needs to recalibrate her gaydar.
I’ve never been a fan of Terry McMillan so I couldn’t care less about her divorce. I just think its funny that she didn’t see this coming – or maybe she didn’t and thought it would make good material for her next novel. If I were her, I’d make money off of it.
Did he turn gay before or after the marriage?
Terry McMillan needs to stop blaming others just because she didn’t pick well.
I’d also recommend she read “The Rules” and the “Surrendered Wife/Surrendered Singles”…..which tell how to prevent this sort of thing.
Raymond writes:
>>>Could it be poetic justice for a person who has made a living making Black men look like demons and exacerbating our image stereotypes while ignoring the oft equally or moreso demonic behavior of the Black female?”
You know what? You posted something I kind of agree with.
It took awhile, but we may finally be on the same sidewalk, brother.
–Cobra
Someone break out the champagne…Cobra and Raymond agree
A Jamaican, no less.
Well, nothing new there, half the Jamaicans in the USA are here becaused they duped some American Black girl into marriage for a green card.
Bottom line, McMillian is a fool … and an old one at that.
Also, she’s “through booking” as the saying goes. At 53 years of age she’s now a “golden girl” with nothing left to offer a man save her money.
Finaly, let us be crystal clear on the significance of all this. Basically, it means McMillian is wrong about everything — from “Waiting to Exhale” onward. Every message, every jot is wrong, wrong, wrong.
This woman failed her sisters. She went after a a penis instead of a husband. Simple math: What on earth made convinced her the guy would still desire her when she was 53 and he 31?
What was she smoking …?
What a waste … I’m 53. I would have been perfect for her.
Magoo
Oh my God, she made a mistake, she should be forgiven for it, not eviscerated. I’m sure she’s devastated. I know, I said I wouldn’t post anymore, but I can’t keep quiet. Yeah, maybe she’s trashed black men in her books, but there are people (black and white) who need to see that they need to change
No disrespect to Terry or anything, but…
I think ANYONE…ESPECIALLY a wealthy woman…who thinks that a decent-looking, minimally-educated but broke person more than twenty years younger than them wants significantly more than the a lifestyle to which they would like to become accustomed is DELUDING themselves.
I’m not saying it can NEVER happen…but come on…when you hear hoof beats think horses…not zebras.
She took a calculated risk on that dude…Miss Cleo or Judge Maybelean could have hooked her up on that decision!
Addendum: Basically a person who has worked out most of their childhood issues would not be seriously interested in a parental or child-figure as a life-partner.
Think about it…you may be sexually attracted…you may lust…you may even fantasize…but it’s called a “generation gap” for a reason…and a generation is generally considered twenty to thirty years…so the better adjusted person wouldn’t want a life partner from another generation…they aren’t viewed as peers
…that’s the more psychological explanation…
PurplePsychMD…
…I may be crazy but they’ll never know about it
This is all just too sad. Terry, baby, you just blew it – that’s all.
Magoo wrote: “Simple math: What on earth made convinced her the guy would still desire her when she was 53 and he 31?”
Simple economics: plastic surgery, celebrity trainers and botox – the usual fountain-of-youth opiates for the vapid masses, along with a dose of Amazonian Warrioress complex?
As for what she was smoking? Lessee, coming from a young drifter Jamaican ma-an, hmmm let me think about that for a minute or two.
Everyone, eventually, gets what’s coming to them.
She took advantage of a market waiting to be exploited: women who make bad choices in men and needed an outlet instead of looking inwards at their own decisions.
In the process, she just reinforced a stereotype and helped further the already inherent difficulties in man/woman dialogue.
Her bitterness has begat bitterness.
Ah-Ha, she got played. She’s lost her self esteem, her sense of values, her groove, respect of her peers and her man, thus damaging her public persona and character. If only there were a way she could make a huge blunder like this one and lose–”ALL OF HER MONEY!!” (sarcasticly speaking/not literal)
Pssssssst. Hey people, she’s still rich…as we speak she’s on the “Terri Mcmillian sympathy tour.”
Even after the divorce settlement she’ll still be rich.
Last time I checked, she’s still rich!
She should’ve known better, definitely…but I can’t help but feel a little bad for her. It certainly makes her look foolish.
That movie was on one of the cable channels the other night, and being alone and bored, I tried to watch it. Angela Bassett was luminously beautiful and Taye Diggs is a doll, but I couldn’t continue. Having a 22-year-old son myself, the thought of falling for a 20-year-old was particularly gag-inducing.
I didn’t see “Stella,” but I saw Angela Bassett (who is indeed beautiful) in the first movie. She was the most enjoyable part of a bad film, inexplicably featuring the acting- talentless Whitney Houston.
It was just so obvious what the relationship was about and that it wouldn’t last, but publicists and the press have a way of creating so much hype. I just don’t know what else to say about Terry if she thought this guy married her because he loved her and not because of her money and fame.
I actually pictured Angela Bassett for the lead in Waiting as opposed to Whitney (prior to any actresses being announced).
This one is sorta tricky because about the time “Stella (and Terry) Were Getting Their Groove On”, my aunt and a few of her friends were running down to the islands acting like “Stella’s” (and we started calling them that too
The majority of the comments she had was how the young men all “fawned” over them when they were there and all the “nice things” they said, blah, blah, blah. (One of the trips her daughter went with her, who came back saying it was pretty unenjoyable because the men hover around the American women like flies on xxxx but the older women eat it up).
My aunt used to pay some young guys way to come visit her here in the states (mind you he always seemed to have a reason to hang out in NY with so called relatives on her dime), buying clothes and having them sent to him, and other stuff. Anyway, these young “gigolos” are no where in site now that she’s 60+, had a stroke, and the money has dried up.
I lived abroad for four years and have traveled a lot, so I’ve seen this situation. If you keep your eyes open, you wise up pretty quickly once you land in a country–the combo of depressing poverty and desperation creates people who want to take advantage of those from the developed world.
“Her bitterness has begat bitterness.”
Amen to that Chris Roberts. Exactly my point, she will never find a “true love” as long as she continues to harbor so much anger and resentment in her heart. I truly believe that you attract the very kind of people that you are yourself. Such is the case with Terry McMillan.
I pity this woman because it is blindingly obvious that she is hurt and devastated, yet from reading the article, to many she will appear as strong or even resiliant. Hiding behind bitterness and anger is not strength but is often the tools employed by women when they are hurt or betrayed and the world applauds them for it. She will make money from this experience and when she does, there is no doubt that in her mind she will be vindicated. Don’t be fooled, this woman needs some serious emotional and spiritual help.
Jerry: Well said! The last thing America needs is another ABW
A hypothetical converation with Terry McMillan.
Q: Hey Terry McMillan, with all the shame and embarrassment you’re suffering surrounding your recent revelations, how do you sleep at night?
A: I sleep with a GREAT BIG PILE OF MONEY!!
Q: Come on now Terry, don’t you really find yourself hiding behind your bitterness?
A: Well…,no. But you can find me hiding behind a bigger pile of MONEY.
Q: Ms. McMillan, money is’nt everything. It can’t buy happiness. And money won’t make a bad person good.
A: You’re right money is’nt everything, it’s the ONLY thing. It bought me several years of my style of happiness. Furthermore, GOOD investments will always keep a BAD person rich.
This interview is over, wheres my check?
Bumbleclot Mon…Me Stella groove done lef her now me feelin a lickle queer….Ras….hope dem money come tru
Not that I wish anything bad to happen to Hannoy Jane and whats-her-name Cradle Robber of Gold digging bisexual gigolos…but number seven sounds like something Hollywood would do…
I can dream, can’t I?
Thanks, La Shawn and commenters. I LOL several times from the post and this thread.
Terry, terry, terry, we here in the Bahamas knows very well how Jamaican men and women try to use others to get out of their country, and if MONEY comes with it all the better. Girl you should have giving me a call,I could have save you lots of humiliation and pain.
SEND HIM PACKING.
Terry McMillan is hurting, let’s remember that. My prayers are with her.
38. My prayers are not with her on this one. She knew what she was getting into and whenever you deal in a world of hate, deceit and homosexuality you will pay a price. She needs to be left to learn from this.
I will pray for her general well being, but her turning away from Godly principles is what got her in this mess.
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