Advice for Democrats: hire Gibbs (or at least Reynolds, Malkin &/or Hewitt)

Silly Democrats, tricks are for kids! Last Friday I was a bit upset by our friends in the print media. Led by the nose, papers like the WaPo parroted the NYTimes ‘pimp my book pre-sales’ account of how George Bush was tapping your 79-year-old grandmum’s phone line. As if making her wait long periods in uncomfortable positions at all hours in the AM at the security check at the airport isn’t enough … but I digress.

What upset me was that instead of being proud of the U.S.’ contribution to a significant and long-lasting geopolitical event – namely the successful parliamentary elections in Iraq – the party out of power took a cheap shot at my country’s international prestige by making something necessarily covert sound illegal. Add to this insult that neither the NYTimes nor WaPo would put an effort into uncovering the person who disclosed these secret details with the same fervor as they’ve covered PlameGate … but I digress.

The point is, despite their best efforts, the old media was minimally successful in steering the public’s attention away from the Bush administration’s successes (on behalf of the U.S.). What they should realized that if they really wanted to refocus the news cycle by stomping some poor Texan into the turf, they really need only focus their energies and finances into Joe Gibbs – whose Iraq-election like victory over “America’s Team” is all the buzz in our (my) Nation’s Capital.

My proof is a screen snippet from today’s WaPo, focusing in on a portion of their left sidebar entitled “Most Viewed Articles.” See for yourself, four out top five stories in today’s Washington Post aren’t addressing issues such as domestic eavesdropping, the war in Iraq, the SCOTUS nor various budgetary concerns. Rather all focus is given to a team named after the Native Americans totally dominating a team named after drunk, gun-toting, environmentally unfriendly, expansionists under the following less-politically correct headlines:

• It Feels Real Good Making Dallas Feel Bad – Wilbon
• Jason La Canfora – The Game of Our Life
• Redskins Helped Themselves To a Second Serving of Tuna – Kornheiser
• Thomas Boswell -Gibbs’s Risk Is Rewarded

All proving one thing Democrats need to understand if they really want to control the news cycle: If you want to get a job done right, make sure you hire a middle-aged, white working class born-again Christian who loves NASCAR almost as much as he loves American Football.

And if you can’t hire Gibbs – or just don’t want to – then may I suggest perhaps trying to persuade one of the following candidates from the blogosphere’s A-list I’ve listed over at blogs4God.com for the year? Granted, it will mean getting your stories straight, backing up assertions with facts, ditching the outrageous headlines for the truth and potentially putting the Christ back into Christmas – but then again there is no such thing as the perfect team.