Nine years ago today, I broke a destructive drinking habit. There was a time I couldn’t imagine going a day without drinking. Life just didn’t seem worth living if I couldn’t drown my thoughts and drink myself into oblivion every day.
When the shame of being a drunk became overwhelming, I decided to stop. It was scary. I was giving up my crutch, ready to face the cold, cruel reality of sobriety. No more excuses.
My sobriety is one of the main reasons I’m always harping on “personal responsibility.” It seems that too many people get away with making excuses these days, and I have no patience for excuses. And this is where I have to be careful. We all have weaknesses and vices, and at one time or another, we all need compassion.
Too much moralizing can lead to too little compassion. As I listen to people make excuses for their weaknesses (alcoholism, drug addiction, bad decisions, dumb choices, whatever), I think, If I could overcome it, why can’t you? Stop wallowing! But I didn’t overcome alcoholism without help. Although I chose to attempt it without a support group, I didn’t do it alone. I had a compassionate and merciful Creator on my side.
There, but for God’s grace, go I.
Christians know that although we choose to do stupid things, we can’t thwart God’s plan. With every decision we make, God can and does achieve his purpose for our lives and the whole world. The decision to take that first sip was the continuation of a plan God had foreordained for me before the foundation of the world.
Each believer was drawn to God in his/her own unique way. This is what Christians call our testimony. We give evidence, so to speak, of how God saved us. Imagine yourself on the witness stand, sworn to tell the truth. Spectators listen as you talk about where you once were, where you are now, and how you got there. As Christians, we’re to tell our personal story of redemption, and then share the “good news”: you, too, can be redeemed, forgiven, and made whole.
Through my savior Jesus Christ, God has forgiven me. Whenever I get the urge to sit in judgment of others, I must always remember that a compassionate and loving God showed me grace. If a perfect, just, and holy God can do that for me, how can I, a fallen creature, withhold it from others?
You rock!
Comment by K T Cat — 03.18.06 @ 10:29 am
Congrats and blessings La Shawn! Check this post out. Our anniversary dates (mine off of drugs) are one day apart. I celebrated 14 years of drugs yesterday.
Comment by Randy — 03.18.06 @ 10:44 am
err…that should be fourteen years OFF drugs (not of) drugs. ::: laughing :::
Comment by Randy — 03.18.06 @ 10:45 am
Praise God for 9 years of sobriety! God is good.
Comment by Eddie — 03.18.06 @ 10:46 am
Congratulations and thanks for testifying to the power of God’s grace in your life.
Comment by Keith Plummer — 03.18.06 @ 11:17 am
God Bless you, La Shawn.
Comment by Doug — 03.18.06 @ 11:18 am
God is certainly able to deliver us from the power of sin.
Comment by Gordon Cloud — 03.18.06 @ 11:23 am
Congratulations, La Shawn! I witnessed my mom’s struggle to overcome her drug addiction when I was a kid and my dad’s growing dependance (best anti drug campaign ever). I don’t know exactly what you went through but I can empathize and admire your strength.
God bless!
Comment by Spring — 03.18.06 @ 11:23 am
Good for you and may you continute to stay on the wagon too.
Comment by Francis — 03.18.06 @ 11:27 am
Congratulations and God bless you!
Comment by Fausta — 03.18.06 @ 12:07 pm
Thanks and congrats for your testimony La Shawn,
Here is mine:
I made my decision to trust Christ as my Savior at age 35, a mere 42 years ago. After hearing a good clear Gospel presentation, I realized I was short of God’s perfection (a sinner) and the penalty for sin is death (eternal separation from God). I also understood Jesus Christ (God in the flesh) died on the cross paying the penalty not only for the sins of the whole world but for me personally. He was buried and rose again after three days — proving that He is God. Christ made this promise to me (or anyone else) that if I would make the mental decision to believe in (trust) Him as my Savior, I could live eternally in Heaven with Him when I die. (John 3:16) It was not by my works, behavior or religion but simply my decision to put my faith in Christ alone for my salvation. Not probation — but Salvation, never to be lost.
I did not stop drinking until about a year later when I was in a bar with friends. The Lord suddenly brought to mind that these friends likely had no hope of Heaven and there I was getting just as drunk as they. I knew they would never believe me if I was drunk while trying to tell them about Christ. I quit drinking that night and later tried to tell my friends how to have eternal life. There are still millions who need to hear that great, clear Gospel of Salvation in Christ and I, by God’s Grace, will do all I can to tell as many as possible as clearly as possible.
ExP
Comment by ExPreacherMan — 03.18.06 @ 12:11 pm
God is Great.
Look what He has done in you. La Shawn you have a beatiful testimony.
Bev
Comment by Bev — 03.18.06 @ 1:09 pm
Beautiful testimony, La Shawn! Though our addictions may have been to something other than alcohol, I am sure that many of us have similar testimonies of the freedom we have found in Christ that keeps us humble when we are tempted to be judgmental. I also know that when we share as openly as you have, that our enemy likes to try to use it against us to cover us in shame. Psalm 34:1-5 says, “I will extol the LORD at all times; his praise will always be on my lips. My soul will boast in the LORD; let the afflicted hear and rejoice. Glorify the LORD with me; let us exalt his name together. I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.”
You, La Shawn, are radiant!
Comment by Patricia — 03.18.06 @ 1:21 pm
Happy anniversary La Shawn and to all of you who have pulled through!
Comment by Mark La Roi — 03.18.06 @ 1:55 pm
Happy anniversary lady. I wish I could give up smoking. Dang, it’s hard. I thought I was in the harness, but He does give us reigns, doesn’t he? And, I have yet to take hold of ‘em. Smoking is an addiction..just like any other addiction..I kick myself daily while I light up.
Well, I applaud your success. Send some courage my way lady! You know, you are a real inspiration and I love your blog.
Comment by dianne — 03.18.06 @ 1:56 pm
Congrats! On March 6th I celebrated 12 years of total addiction to alcohol. Friend of Bill….
Comment by wallace-Midland Texas — 03.18.06 @ 2:26 pm
Hi LaShawn,
I submitted a few posts’ a couple of years ago. I check in from time to time and follow the topics as time permits. Thank you for your determination, courage and tact as you address so many very important topics.
I’m an addictions counselor by training, but now work in the administration of an organization that provides therapeutic help to families of troubled teens. I see and experience first hand the sad and often poignant consequences of broken homes, substance abuse, instant gratification, and a society only concerned about “selfâ€.
Although I personally have never smoked a cigarette, dabbled in drugs or even had a beer, addictions have indirectly affected my life. At 15 years old, my mother and I were hit head on by a drunk driver. My mother was put through the windshield. That’s a very traumatic experience for a 15 year old to look over at his mother, bloodied and dazed, asking where we were over and over again.
Throughout college, I was drawn to the social sciences. Not to figure myself out, like so many who enter this field, but because the social sciences truly intrigued me. The Lord has definitely had a hand in my life. After being married for three years, and having moved away from our home State at the time of our marriage, my wife’s “family secret†finally came to light. Her father has a drinking problem. Now, 18 years later, her siblings have all moved as far away as possible. Her father lost his job years ago and has spent his time literally wasting his life away.
I’m saddened that my kids don’t have a relationship with their grandpa. However, they have good parents and will be fine. I’m more saddened by the fact he can’t enjoy that fulfilling relationship with his grand kids. What a shame.
If it weren’t for the fact I was “guided†into this field and gained the understanding of addiction that I have, I’m not convinced our marriage would have survived as long as it has. The cycle of broken and bruised little souls would have continued with our children. I am strengthened by the Faith and Testimony I have in my savior, Jesus Christ.
I know that when my wife and I pass beyond this earthly experience, we will be able to look at each other with more pure eyes. We will have an increased understanding of the purpose of our time here. We will look back with renewed appreciation of our experiences whether painful or joyful. We will look to our Savior with a sense of humility and awe. I’m sure we will have a very acute awareness of His wisdom, sacrifice, love and compassion for us.
Thank you for this forum. Thank you for your testimony in Christ.
Comment by Steve — 03.18.06 @ 2:46 pm
What a beautiful testimony - what wonderful comments - you have all definitely contributed to my day! And to make it even better, my husband came home today from visiting a sick church member who had been paralyzed from the neck down as a result of a broken neck in an automobile accident three weeks ago. Guess what!!! He is now moving both arms and has ’some’ feeling in his legs. He still cannot feed himself or do anything yet, but don’t tell me God can’t do anything!!!! How blessed we all are to have such a loving and caring God! You are such an inspiration LaShawn.
Comment by Francene — 03.18.06 @ 3:07 pm
It’s such a blessing when we accept the plan God has for us.
Sober since 7/18/01
What we have is a daily reprieve contingent upon the basis of our spiritual condition.
Comment by Colby — 03.18.06 @ 3:11 pm
way to go!
Comment by Jason — 03.18.06 @ 3:54 pm
I hit seven years this past January. A toast — with diet soda — that we’ll always be two years apart.
Comment by JP — 03.18.06 @ 4:10 pm
Good for you and congrats.
Comment by Wayne — 03.18.06 @ 4:12 pm
God bless.
Comment by j.a.m. — 03.18.06 @ 4:49 pm
I know what you mean La Shawn, and this is one of the reasons I respect you the way I do…
14 years clean and sober for me too… Mine was *part of the job* and it became an addiction that cost me everything…
That was then, this is now and THANK GOD it’s ALL behind me and I have a wife and kids, and now grandkids, that loved me anyway…
Comment by TexasFred — 03.18.06 @ 4:53 pm
Congrats on your sobriety anniversary.
I have 17 1/2 years, and it’s the most important thing in my life.
I know that it isn’t God’s will for me to drink any more alcohol.
Keep up the great work.
Comment by chris — 03.18.06 @ 4:54 pm
I am sure God has brought you to this place for many reasons, LaShawn, but clearly one of them has been for your contribution to the blogosphere. Go with God, dear sister in Christ!
Comment by Dory — 03.18.06 @ 5:09 pm
May God be with you.
I shall keep you in my prayers, La Shawn.
Comment by maria horvath — 03.18.06 @ 5:35 pm
Drifting a little close to Calvinism, but I know what you mean!
Comment by Greg — 03.18.06 @ 5:38 pm
La Shawn
La Shawn Barber tells us how the Lord converted her and healed her from alcoholism.
Trackback by Trivium Pursuit — 03.18.06 @ 5:41 pm
But for the grace of God. I have 17 yrs sober last november. Congrats LaShawn. Tony
Comment by tonynoboloney — 03.18.06 @ 6:16 pm
Happy anniversary. God has indeed blessed you, and us.
And I hope many take note of your injunction to react with compassion to the less-fortunate. It’s a much-needed message.
Comment by mberg — 03.18.06 @ 6:44 pm
Amen, La Shawn! I am so grateful to you for this post. I’ve mentioned to you before that I have many people in my life who can seriously benefit from taking into consideration the messages that you post here. After reading your testimony, and especially after reading this message from your heart today, I really hope that many of these same people will be able to finally bring their defensive walls down and actually start getting it.
Your post also has made me reflect on how critical I am of others much of the time. I tend to put on a white wig and judge on a regular basis. But there’s something about the sweet love and compassion of God that’s so special, and when we pass this love and compassion on to others, it just has an affect on them that can’t be described, can it? I wish God’s blessings over you and everything in your life! Thanks again!
Comment by Tami G — 03.18.06 @ 8:15 pm
Precious testimony. God continue to be gracious to you. His steadfast love never ceases and His mercies never come to end.
Comment by Maribel Hernandez — 03.18.06 @ 8:36 pm
You Rule!
I am glad to know you through your work, and the few correspondences we’ve had.
Your encouragement to me, and to others, means a lot.
Comment by Kiril Kundurazieff — 03.18.06 @ 8:40 pm
A little close to Calvinism? Sister, if God isn’t totally in control, what hope do we have?
Like Tehvye, I don’t necessarily know what God is doing, but I can rest easy in the fact that He knows.
Comment by Bill Brown — 03.18.06 @ 8:45 pm
You sober up and find God and contentment. Jeanine Garafalo sobers up and finds Bush Derangement Syndrome and irrational, blinding rage. You win.
Comment by rcl — 03.18.06 @ 9:10 pm
La Shawn, you inspired me once again. As a pastor I have been an eye witness to the debilitating effect alcohol has on lives. I also weary of Bible students who scorn my choice to abstain and my appeals to others to abstain purely on the basis of alcohol’s negative effect on society. Some things don’t require a biblical justification. Christians may do as they wish (Christian liberty), but I decline my own liberty because I have known too many people with stories like yours but without the happy ending.
Comment by Bob Bixby — 03.18.06 @ 9:22 pm
Congratulations Lashawn! It always encourages me to read your testimony. Every so often I go back and read your article “A sobering Truth”, it always, always inspires me to go on in spite of any difficulties. In you I realize how good God truly is.
Thanks for sharing.
Jerry M.
Comment by Jerry McClellan — 03.18.06 @ 9:35 pm
“The more I drank, the more pleasant the world looked.” from your May/June 2003 article in Today’s Christian Woman.
I generally couldn’t see much AT ALL when I was drinking. If the world looked pleasant to you just what WERE you drinking and could you ship a mess of it over here??? [[Grin]]
Comment by Axinar — 03.18.06 @ 10:56 pm
Congratulations. Your life began 9 years ago. That’s when you became a true Christian. You can’t be a Christian and worship the sauce!
And that goes for anything else, whether it’s cigarettes, too much food, TV, etc… false idols all.
There’s only one true addiction, for a Christian.
Comment by Glamchild — 03.18.06 @ 11:02 pm
Congratulations to you!
I have been clean for 34 yrs (shooting up meth) and I never could have done it without the awesome grace of God. I thank Him daily!
Comment by Lynn — 03.18.06 @ 11:17 pm
It was the 25th of August, 1985 for me. I needed the help of AA to find my way to God. Now I have both, along with seven of the world’s cutest grandkids.
Comment by Peter — 03.18.06 @ 11:28 pm
Great testimony and congratulations on your anniversary!
I stopped drinking 22 years ago, but I never was sober until I accepted the Lord as my Savior 4 years ago. What a difference between dry drunk and sober/saved.
Comment by Jerry — 03.18.06 @ 11:31 pm
Congratulations LaShawn! May God grant you a long wonderful life.
“There, but for God’s grace, go I.”
A thought I always strive to keep in my head and heart.
Comment by Teresa — 03.19.06 @ 12:45 am
~* The Importance of Compassion *~
It is rare that I post anything other than my SSAB on Saturdays, yet I find myself posting two more times this evening. If you didn't read my
Trackback by Taking the Challenge — 03.19.06 @ 1:05 am
Thank you for your openness! Your testimony of God’s greatness in your life, and the changes that can be made if we only let him. Stay strong in His power.
Comment by Ted — 03.19.06 @ 1:39 am
Congrats, LaShawn! You’re an inspiration to us all!
May God bless you and keep you.
Comment by newton — 03.19.06 @ 2:18 am
Jesus - in Hebrew, Yehoshua derived from the word yasha, which means deliverance - freed LaShawn Barber from her captivity a long time ago. Today is the anniversary of her deliverance.
Pingback by Oh How I Love Jesus — 03.19.06 @ 2:26 am
Very nice message. Keep it up, and always thank Christ for giving you strength!
Comment by Jon — 03.19.06 @ 3:40 am
Congratulations! That’s an impressive personal accomplishment.
84 days and counting in my case. It’s definitely worth the work!
Comment by Soberguy — 03.19.06 @ 8:17 am
God bless you.
Comment by Rodney A Stanton — 03.19.06 @ 8:32 am
Living and Dying
La Shawn Barber celebrates an anniversary this weekend–nine years of sobriety. The bad thing about getting older (dying) is the bad knees, the stubborn spare tire and the sense that some opportunities are gone forever, however you do understand someth…
Trackback by UNCoRRELATED — 03.19.06 @ 9:00 am
LaShawn
As a fellow friend of Bill W. and Dr Bob (since 5 March 1994)I am very honored to say “Happy Birthday” to you. It is amazing what we can do when “let go and let GOD”. As I trudge the happy road of destiny, I am glad to see you on the path with me. Congratulations!
Chip
Comment by Chip — 03.19.06 @ 9:49 am
Blessings to you and your heart for others LaShawn. My date of sobriety is December something (around the 10th), 1989.
Comment by ben — 03.19.06 @ 10:25 am
Congratulations Thanks for sharing
I tell people, “We are free to choose, we are not free to choose the negative consequences of our choices.”
We watched Walk the Line and couldn’t escape the haunting plague of drug and alcohol addiction.
Comment by JoeS — 03.19.06 @ 10:30 am
LaShawn,
I grew up on a small Indian reservation in Maine, in a family of more alcoholics than not.
I was fortunate to have God place me in the home of my great-aunt, who hated alcohol and what it did to her family, my family.
She was a fine Christian woman who made me go to church every Sunday unless I was so sick I couldn’t get up. We got a wonderful minister who had been a missionary to the Congo and was unable to go back due to the revolution there in the early sixties.
He and his wife were saving graces for me as they took me under their wings and helped to keep me straight, not because I was headed in the wrong direction, but because they provided such a great ministry to us that I loved to fellowship with them and with my brothers and sisters in Christ.
The Holy Spirit put my soul under conviction when I was twelve years old. I finally accepted Christ as my Savior and have never looked back.
There have been times when I was backslidden that I tried alcohol, but I hated the taste and the effect it had on me. I have been blessed that God has always put someone close to me who is a great Christian and is a great example. That person has always kept me on the straight and narrow when I started to drift. It has been many people throughout my lifetime, but God has been good to me also.
I cannot imagine what it would be like to think I had to have a drink every day, but I have seen it in my own family with members who went on benders for a couple of weeks at a time, and I knew I didn’t want to be like that.
We serve an awesome God, one who counts the very hairs on our heads, and Whose Son looked down through the ages when He was on the cross and saw all of us. When He was on the cross, I was on His mind, and everyone else too.
I thank God you have found Him and your sobriety and I pray you will continue to be a Christian influence on many people as you travel life’s highway.
Comment by Jeanette — 03.19.06 @ 10:38 am
You make us all proud. What you have done to turn your life around is no mean feat and should should brag about it at every chance.
My accomplishment, nowhere near as difficult I would guess, was to quit smoking 3 years ago. I never even think about lighting up and I find the habit disgusting now. Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes…
Comment by michael — 03.19.06 @ 1:53 pm
God is great!
I am so thankful he doesnt give us what we really deserve. He reached down into this sewage dump we call the world and washed us clean.
And not because we did anything. As sinners we were never looking for God.
Because He’s God and He chose to do so. No one can boast of finding God, only of what He did for us! He found us!!
Wow…what an awesome story Lashawn.
Comment by lukeNC — 03.19.06 @ 4:23 pm
Congrats, La Shawn.
God has blessed you, and you’re a blessing to us. Keep preachin’ it!
#50 Soberguy — Congrats to you too! Stay on the wagon.
Comment by FL Mom — 03.19.06 @ 5:34 pm
Congratulations … this is not only a very admirable feat, but also takes guts to put it down so publicly and eruditely.
I applaud you - and you deserve all the spiritual contentedness now you get for your bravery.
Comment by Daniel M. Harrison — 03.19.06 @ 8:12 pm
Congratulations, La Shawn, and thanks for posting your testimony.
Comment by Mike — 03.19.06 @ 8:29 pm
May God continue to bless you in all that you do. Your blog has been a wonderful blessing to me.
Comment by Evon — 03.19.06 @ 8:52 pm
Congrats:
You are doing well.
Comment by Rob — 03.19.06 @ 9:00 pm
Congratulations on your 9th bday.
Comment by Anne — 03.19.06 @ 9:08 pm
Howie’s Sunday Post Vinnie Freezes His Arse Off Edition.
There, but for God’s grace, go I. Good job LaShawn, now neither of us have to look outside to see if our car is in the driveway. Where the bloody hell am I indeed, Sugar! Don’t miss Vonski’s weekly roundup…
Trackback by The Jawa Report — 03.19.06 @ 9:31 pm
Through my savior Jesus Christ, God has forgiven me. Whenever I get the urge to sit in judgment of others, I must always remember that a compassionate and loving God showed me grace. If a perfect, just, and holy God can do that for me, how can I, a fallen creature, withhold it from others?
Stingray: a blog for salty Christians
Comment by Stingray — 03.19.06 @ 9:58 pm
God bless you La Shawn. These sorts of posts are why I read you every single day.
Comment by Skookumchuk — 03.19.06 @ 10:04 pm
“Imagine yourself on the witness stand, sworn to tell the truth.”
I did, and I lied through my teeth. But it all worked out for me! On the other hand, Lil Kim didn’t do so well with the perjury thing.
God bless ya’, La Shawn
Comment by William Jefferson Clinton — 03.19.06 @ 11:24 pm
This is wonderful — keep it up!
Also, thanks for your emphasis on compassion — we all need it, both to receive and to give.
grace and peace,
wm.
Comment by William Sulik — 03.20.06 @ 7:04 am
WTG!
Comment by anonymusrex — 03.20.06 @ 11:01 am
I know I’m a little slow in commenting, but I got sober through AA and have stayed sober for 8 years thru AA and my church. AA wasn’t around when my dad got sober (before I was born), but he was led to sobriety by the Methodists, who believed in total abstinence in those days, AA says sobriety can only be achieved thru believe in a higher power, “whom we chose to call God.” I think AA chose to de-emphasize specific Chritianity in order to be a haven of comfort for all suffering alcholics, including Jews (at that time). Now it spreads the word of God in almost 100 countries and welcomes suffering alcholics of any faith. As one who has been there, I send you love and congratulations “one day at a time”
Comment by sw sobriety — 03.20.06 @ 3:16 pm
I have tremendous respect for anyone who can fight and win against a self-destructive life. It’s not easy, because the normal path, the easy path, is for self-destruction to feed upon itself and grow out of control. Stopping the cycle is the hard path, and takes something special. My admiration goes out to all who have done what is needed to keep the monster in check.
Comment by RedBeard — 03.20.06 @ 3:27 pm
On crutches, Christianity, and getting crunk
Disclaimer: I’m not bringing this up to make cheap jokes about LaShawn Barber’s troubles with the drink. A member of my family has struggled with alcoholism for years, so I get how tough it is to be sober and stay
Trackback by What Culture War? — 03.20.06 @ 5:52 pm
God Bless you Lashawn,I have two uncles who are still in bondage to the sauce and to make matters worse they are also drug addicts.They have been given plenty of support but one refuses after thirty years to admit he has a problem and the other who is a Christian just keeps making the decision to go back and he wallows there,even though he knows better.As you say choices are involved in whatever you do.And as God delivered you from your addiction,because you finally made the choice that it wasn’t gonna be a stronghold over your life anymore,I pray for the day when both of my uncles face that cold reality.
Comment by Lisa Gilliam — 03.20.06 @ 10:52 pm
What you did was not easy. I wish you a good today and a better tomorrow. Congratulations.
see ya
cathy : )
Comment by cathymv — 03.21.06 @ 2:06 pm
HAPPY Birthday LaShawn!!
Coming up on 20 years and it just gets better!
Want to boost your spirits and enforce your gratitude??……….think about where you would be if you had continued your path with where you are now.
Continued success to you!
Comment by Richard — 03.21.06 @ 3:27 pm
I made a huge mistake, and today I had time to think about its destructiveness. I, too, have become quite judgemental, so maybe in a way, that mistake was meant to expose what a lousy sinner I am and that I shouldn’t be so harshly critical of others’ shortcomings. I am a total sinner and a loser, and it’s only because of Jesus that I haven’t been condemned to eternal damnation and why I haven’t been punished with lightning or some such life-crushing disaster.
Comment by mj — 03.22.06 @ 5:11 pm
God bless you, La Shawn
Comment by RepJ — 03.23.06 @ 11:33 pm