I can’t believe I’ve gotten away with this masquerade for so many years!
I am not La Shawn Barber. There is no La Shawn Barber. It’s all an elaborate ruse, something I cooked up on a hot August afternoon in 2002. After reading so many cookie-cutter opinion columns, I thought my brain would rot. So I decided to become a columnist. I sent my work to newspapers large and small, with no luck. What am I doing wrong? I wrote and submitted, wrote and submitted until my fingers were stiff and aching with a wicked case of carpal tunnel.
One day while doing research on Justice Clarence Thomas, I stumbled across a nasty quote about him. One of his critics, a very angry black man, had called him a very demeaning name. That’s the moment I decided to do something. No matter what it took, I would get my words in print. Or I’d die trying. But editors didn’t seem interested in op-eds by yet another white conservative defending Justice Thomas and other black conservatives.
So…I took on the persona of a black woman, a very outspoken black woman. Suddenly, my work was published. Finally! Then I realized the potential of this idea. I was a blog reader from way back, so I decided to start one. It became bigger than I’d ever imagined. To make the whole thing all the more real, I enlisted one of my dear friends, a black woman (who’s not all that conservative!), to help. She allowed me to post her photo on the site. But there was a problem: people wanted to meet “La Shawn Barber” and began inviting her to blogger meet-ups and conferences.
That’s when my friend and I made an agreement: she would be the public “La Shawn” while I remained behind the scenes. I can’t tell you how liberating it was to know so many people were reading my opinions! I even started a blog consulting business and fantasy fiction blog. It was perfect. Although I felt bad about fooling people, it was surprisingly easy. People just assumed this “La Shawn Barber” was a real person. With my enormous writing talent and my friend’s willingness to go along with the scheme, we made a great team. But now the game is over.
I can’t do it anymore. My conscience is eating away at me. It’s over. My friend says she wants to start a blog under her real name or even write a book about all this. I don’t care. I just can’t stand fooling people anymore. Please accept my apology, gentle readers.
On Monday, this blog will be terminated.
