Sooo Many times. I’m sure I can relate to a lot of what he writes in the book.

Good post!

I stumbled across this book at the library:
Get Over Yourself! : How to Drop the Drama and Claim the Life You Deserve
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1401301762/sr=8-1/qid=1149713983/ref=pd_bbs_1/002-5335267-3974460?%5Fencoding=UTF8
which at first glance seems like a more sensitive view than tiredblackman.com

Hopefully you are not the Amazon.com reviewer who bought a copy of “Get Over Yourself” and gave it to his wife – just joking.

Hmmmmm…..

I recommend this book to anyone who wants to read something thoughtful and thought-provoking. In addition, it is well written, even grammatical! My late godmother (high school English teacher for 44 years) would approve – both of the thought process and of the writing! There is, from me, no higher praise!

Brava La Shawn for recommending the book and bravo to Joseph C. Phillips for a magnificent book.

…There are those who think a genetic defect is a mutation that must be gotten rid of. Our great scientific technology has allowed the origin of many genetic defects to be discovered. Unfortunately, this has not led to a cure but rather it has led …

I saw X-men and it’s an excellent movie. It strays way off from the original plot, and that is going to make long time X-men comic readers upset, but I think overall the movie was a lot of fun. I would have liked to see more of Cyclops and Rogue seeing as they are major players, but the Storm/Callisto fight was fun.

Despite the college statistics, black men still average a higher income than black women and make up a larger number in the workforce especially the full-time workforce. The black female college enrollment rate is not the end-all as it relates to the comparison. Plus, either of the complaining women in the video clip could easily be a college educated woman. The point is that the common attitude of black women that involves routine high drama and hell raising for any given reason is prevalent in college educated women as well as non-college educated black women. Black men often cite how a good black man is often viewed by black women as weak and he is often treated in such a way by them. It’s just like the film’s writer stated in an interview, that if a man doesn’t bring drama into their relationship, she will bring it because it seems that that is where her comfort zone lies. It also seems that the drama brought by thugs and players is often embraced to a certain point which, as I stated earlier, is why you can easily find educated black women in relationships with fools who were clearly fools from the start. This is something observed by good black men for years and they are only now really beginning to express their feelings on the subject. Black women often don’t treat good black men very well and will often treat trifling black men quite well until they can’t endure being dogged out anymore. Then they proclaim all black men to be dogs.

Of course there are many black women not like this, yet this is prevalent enough to have a powerful impact. If black women shun the thugs and players, the thugs and players will eventually become extinct.

I did not mean to imply that the issue of male-female relationships should not be discussed objectively. I only objected to the female-bashing aspect, and did not think at first glance TiredBlackMan.com contained even Oprah quality advice.

I believe the issue of welfare and the unintended creation of “welfare queens” who could financially raise children without the help a husband has been well discussed, and was a justification for welfare reform. I believe the issue of gangster rap, the “Pimp having a hard time” movie and others has been discussed, but I haven’t really looked into it.

The lack of successfully married role models for both men and women is a problem regardless of race or gender.

The 3-minute video clip had a polite, mild speaking black divorced black man who 1) visited his kids, 2) paid child support, 3) paid for the ex-wife’s house, and 4) his ex-wife did not work a day while married or divorced. I suppose there are situations like this, but I would imagine most ex-wives would be happy in such a situation.

If you or any black man finds yourself dating a woman who does not like it when you walk away from being disrespected instead of fighting self proclaimed “niccas” who you should be laughing at (not to their face), I would suggest you change your taste in women. There are twice as many African-American women in college than men so that might be a place to start.

Actually Unk, it is those very players and thugs who seem to get the good black women. It is common to see a black guy who is either a flamboyant player or a rough edged street thug with an attractive, educated, working black woman. In our society, there is an established image of what a black man is and this image involves being a bad boy. It is this perception that has often been viewed as what makes black men appealing. Down to earth, responsible black men are often viewed as weak, unexciting, and unappealing.

You see this to a point with other groups, but it is common to see very attractive white women with white men who seem to be “regular guys” who are not flashy, not hard, and not what would traditionally be viewed as “hunks”. I see bikers as the white equivalent to black thugs and “biker chicks” tend to look and act just as rough as the bikers. On the other hand, black dope dealers, gang members, etc. often have very attractive black women hanging on their arms.

This is most common with young black women and before they can mature enough to put priority on what’s good for them as opposed to what’s good to them, they have already had children by these very men who are most unlikely to commit to being fathers and husbands. After catching the blues, these women then declare that all black men are dogs and those down to earth, responsible black men scratch their heads wondering why they are alone.

People fail to realize how much the actions of females affect young males. Much of what young men do in their lives revolves around making themselves appealing to the opposite sex and it is quite damaging to their ambitions when young black boys see drug dealers, ex-cons, gang members, thugs, and players with the most appealing black women. If nearly all black women only went after straight A intellectual types, the black community would be full of male geniuses.

“Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to track 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give them all a cow.”

“The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse . . . You cannot post ‘thou shalt not steal,’ ‘Thou shall not commit adultery,’ and ‘Thou shall not lie’ in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians – - it creates a hostile work environment.”

Phillips expresses himself well. Additional proof, if anyone still needed it, that it is education and work that is the hope for the future instead of the race card.

It is unfair to tell lawyer jokes when 95% of the problems our society thinks of with lawyers are caused by only 5% of them. As little as we think of politicians, (rightly), they enable us to live in a society without killing each other most of the time. Until Christ returns that is about all we can hope for. I wonder how many of the things I thought I knew will be corrected?

Many, if not most, of those politicians were good people until faced with the constant praise and adulation that us humans cannot deal with.

Keep up the Great Work!!

Now, I wonder how long it’s going to take the major book stores to move books like this into the “African American Studies” section. I know back during Black History month, (I go to the bookstore weekly), None of Borders, Barnes and Noble and Books a Million in my area had a single book in their African American studies section [which was featured prominently] featuring a Black intellectual that wasn’t an angry victim/liberal. Hopefully this will change.

It’s funny that you say what you say, because one of the biggest complaints aired on tiredblackman.com is that black females take no responsibility and harbor no criticism for their role in the crumbling of black communities all over this country.

If we can talk trash about black males all day long, we MUST reveal the other side of the equation – the black females that serve as fuel for the black male fire.

It is a real issue and I wish more women would take to heart the issues being raised on that forum. You see it as woman bashing, I see it as catharthsis and testimony.

I was wondering if you had a chance to read this weekend’s piece in the Washington Post on the state of black men in America?

The poll that was conducted was especially thought-provoking, as it shows black men coming to terms with the fact that opportunities abound, but also blaming other black men for negative perceptions that persist about black males.