Why is this so hard for people to get?

I do…I most certainly do.

I told you to stop engaging Jan a long time ago but you obviously have a higher tolerance for pain than I previously gave you credit for…LOL!!!!!

When your head starts to bleed, you’ll stop banging it against the keyboard trying to justify your perfectly valid opinions to someone who is never going to agree with them.

And that’s the difference, I can acknowledge an opposing viewpoint and still not agree with it.

At the same time, I am sympathetic to the fact that some will “defend at all costs” when they feel that the mode is overly negative and so they wish to present a “positive view” so I try to temper my negative impression of their mindset.

This sentence by Jan sums up her mindset to me. It shows that she isn’t trying to understand another position. And that’s fine too. She’s certainly entitled to that mindset.

I too tire, of being judged by a subculture of my community. I can clearly call out the problems with black folk, I live and see it daily. However, I do know that there is a brighter side and seek to expose that as well.

At the end of the day, we are only connected by cyberspace. Take action in real life.

Thanks for the indulgence, LB.

I don’t understand how this is any different from what I’m saying. I have never advocated for lowered standards of behavior ( or, in general)for blacks. I just think we get a steady enough diet from the media as a whole of the negative with a small bit of attention paid to the postive. I and my circle of friends and colleagues are not criminals, welfare cheats or drug dealers. So, our direct experience is overwhelmingly positive. I live in the city. I see all the negative stuff. I just don’t think I need to wallow in it to combat it. What’s wrong with saying to those people out there (which is the majority of us, by the way), “Hey, I see you and appreciate you. Keep it up!”. What is so wrong about that?

LaShawn and Helio have a different tack than I do. This is her blog. She can do what she wants. But, I think for every newspaper that has a police blotter full of black faces, there should be a Jet Magazine or Black Enterprise magazine that features blacks of accomplishment. I had my parents to show me the way. A lot of these kids don’t have that. I think if they can see and read about successful blacks functioning in the real world, it can only improve things. I think role models have a positive effect.

If the goals of LaShawn and Helio are to change things, how is what I’m saying diametrically opposed to that? If you want to see or read about all the negative stuff, there are plenty of outlets for you. Do you think I want this nonsense that goes on out there to continue or worsen? That impacts me and my daughter because like it or not, people have a tendency to group all of us together. And, make assumptions about us based on negative stuff.

I still don’t see anywhere in any of my posts how you could read a defense of bad behavior. I’ve never done that. Not once. I don’t “defend at any cost”. I say , “Hey, look at this guy over here. He’s not a gangster! He’s a regular guy like you and me.” I also don’t separate myself from the mainstream. For the purposes of discussion it’s easier to talks in terms of “black” and “white”.
I do identify as black, by default. That’s not every part of me, but it’s the most visible.
I just have a different approach. I’m sorry you don’t like it.

Since you have been gracious enough to hang in here and indulge in dialogue that is tinged with friction, I’ll try to take another stab at explaining how the word pcture gets painted in my mind. I’m exhausted, having worked fourteen hours today, so forgive me if I am opaque.

First of all, there is something compelling about folks like LaShawn and Helio who hold their race to the same standards of achievement that Asians hold for themselves. This makes me think that Helio and LaShawn see equivalent potential. When folks CONTINUALLY defend bad behavior in black society, it feels as if they do not think that blacks are capable of meeting those standards.

At the same time, I am sympathetic to the fact that some will “defend at all costs” when they feel that the mode is overly negative and so they wish to present a “positive view” so I try to temper my negative impression of their mindset.

Folks like LaShawn and Helio are superb writers with great analytical skill which clearly demonstrates that this skill is not confined to the “privileged.” I appreciate all people of excellence and probably see them as a positive reflection of their race, though this thought is not well fleshed out.

Folks like LaShawn and Helio get angry when blacks make excuses for failure which paints a picture in my mind that they think there is no reason to be in a position to make excuses. They don’t see themselves as somehow separate, but rather as an integral contributing part of this land of opportunity.

Lastly, Folks like LaShawn and Helio react similarly with all races which makes one feel that they see themselves as equals who are invested in ideas with little need to make “racial” accomodations.

I guess at the end of the day, LaShawn and Helio are outraged by outrageous behavior because they know that they and theirs are better than that – MUCH BETTER!

Another bit of dishonesty. The only way to gauge my intent or to put it simply the message that I want to get across is through…wait for it….my words! There’s no other way to do it. You can’t see me or hear me. So, the actual words that I use to convey my intent are all you have to go by. That is what people use words for, you know. So, clearly you decided you disagree with the intent. That’s fine. Say so. Trash me if you want. But, be honest. The intent of that statement is to tell you to be the opposite of dishonest.

Where are you?

Wow. Are we going to count the angels on the head of a pin now? For the last time, if you want to take MY words, which don’t have double-meanings, and turn them around in YOUR head to say that I’m saying something that I’m not, it’s called dishonest. Some folks would call it a lie.
Now who has her knickers in a twist?

What picture do my words paint? A dude in baggy jeans swigging from a 40 oz? I don’t know why it’s so hard for you to say that you don’t agree with me politically and leave it at that rather than twist my words into whatever you want.

In any case, whatever.

Once again, you are intellectually dishonest. It’s too bad.