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	<title>Comments on: Why Mothers Need To Be Married</title>
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		<title>By: Angel</title>
		<link>http://lashawnbarber.com/archives/2007/05/11/why-mothers-need-to-be-married/comment-page-3/#comment-90698</link>
		<dc:creator>Angel</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 15 May 2007 16:01:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lashawnbarber.com/archives/2007/05/11/why-mothers-need-to-be-married/#comment-90698</guid>
		<description>Suek, 

      I am passionate about the written word. I am especially concerned about the lack of books in poor black households. Books present knowledge and ideas. Books show heroes making sacrifices. Books are jumping off points for writers like myself. Without books, I would not be where I am today. Older books are especially cherished by me. I took Latin for six years. Every chance I get to pick up an old Latin book, it&#039;s great. 

This has been such a long-standing problem in these households. The quest for relevance has done more damage it seems as the books I do see black kids and some adults reading glorify thug life and are little better than pornography. 

My favorites: Wuthering Heights. What else can you say? The most haunting romantic book ever. 

The Night Manager by John LeCarre. A former British army brat doing penance as night manager for a luxury hotel is recruited to face down as he calls him, &quot;the worst man in the world&quot;. 

Brazil by John Irving. Irving took the concept of magical realism and ramped it up in this contemporary reworking of Tristan and Isolde. 

The Holographic Universe by Michael Talbot. A new take on the underpinnings of the universe and the inner workings of the human mind. Very trippy!

I feel like I&#039;ve hijacked this thread. Sorry.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Suek, </p>
<p>      I am passionate about the written word. I am especially concerned about the lack of books in poor black households. Books present knowledge and ideas. Books show heroes making sacrifices. Books are jumping off points for writers like myself. Without books, I would not be where I am today. Older books are especially cherished by me. I took Latin for six years. Every chance I get to pick up an old Latin book, it&#8217;s great. </p>
<p>This has been such a long-standing problem in these households. The quest for relevance has done more damage it seems as the books I do see black kids and some adults reading glorify thug life and are little better than pornography. </p>
<p>My favorites: Wuthering Heights. What else can you say? The most haunting romantic book ever. </p>
<p>The Night Manager by John LeCarre. A former British army brat doing penance as night manager for a luxury hotel is recruited to face down as he calls him, &#8220;the worst man in the world&#8221;. </p>
<p>Brazil by John Irving. Irving took the concept of magical realism and ramped it up in this contemporary reworking of Tristan and Isolde. </p>
<p>The Holographic Universe by Michael Talbot. A new take on the underpinnings of the universe and the inner workings of the human mind. Very trippy!</p>
<p>I feel like I&#8217;ve hijacked this thread. Sorry.</p>
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		<title>By: RedBeard</title>
		<link>http://lashawnbarber.com/archives/2007/05/11/why-mothers-need-to-be-married/comment-page-3/#comment-90695</link>
		<dc:creator>RedBeard</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 15 May 2007 15:47:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lashawnbarber.com/archives/2007/05/11/why-mothers-need-to-be-married/#comment-90695</guid>
		<description>Very sad, Suek.  I have a number of books of English literature that were printed pre-WWII.  Oddly, given that school&#039;s standards of obsolescence, the words in David Copperfield are the same as in current publications.  ;-)</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Very sad, Suek.  I have a number of books of English literature that were printed pre-WWII.  Oddly, given that school&#8217;s standards of obsolescence, the words in David Copperfield are the same as in current publications.  <img src='http://lashawnbarber.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_wink.gif' alt=';-)' class='wp-smiley' /> </p>
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		<title>By: suek</title>
		<link>http://lashawnbarber.com/archives/2007/05/11/why-mothers-need-to-be-married/comment-page-3/#comment-90691</link>
		<dc:creator>suek</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 15 May 2007 15:12:42 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lashawnbarber.com/archives/2007/05/11/why-mothers-need-to-be-married/#comment-90691</guid>
		<description>Several years ago, I was down at the local elementary school as they were doing a cleaning-out during the summer.  There were old textbooks, and library books.  They were out first for anyone in the district who wanted them, and then would be offered to any group that would put them to use.  I shook my head at the textbooks - how &quot;out of date&quot; can English, math and reading books be?  But what _killed_ me was the library books...I asked why these had been chosen - why were they &quot;obsolete&quot;...the answer???  They don&#039;t have enough pictures - the children don&#039;t read them.  
It&#039;s reasonable, I guess, if space is limited, to retain the books that &quot;move&quot; and get rid of the ones that don&#039;t, but it says something about the reading ability? comprehension? attention span?  _Something_.  I&#039;m just not exactly sure what it is.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Several years ago, I was down at the local elementary school as they were doing a cleaning-out during the summer.  There were old textbooks, and library books.  They were out first for anyone in the district who wanted them, and then would be offered to any group that would put them to use.  I shook my head at the textbooks &#8211; how &#8220;out of date&#8221; can English, math and reading books be?  But what _killed_ me was the library books&#8230;I asked why these had been chosen &#8211; why were they &#8220;obsolete&#8221;&#8230;the answer???  They don&#8217;t have enough pictures &#8211; the children don&#8217;t read them.<br />
It&#8217;s reasonable, I guess, if space is limited, to retain the books that &#8220;move&#8221; and get rid of the ones that don&#8217;t, but it says something about the reading ability? comprehension? attention span?  _Something_.  I&#8217;m just not exactly sure what it is.</p>
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		<title>By: jan</title>
		<link>http://lashawnbarber.com/archives/2007/05/11/why-mothers-need-to-be-married/comment-page-3/#comment-90655</link>
		<dc:creator>jan</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 15 May 2007 03:21:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lashawnbarber.com/archives/2007/05/11/why-mothers-need-to-be-married/#comment-90655</guid>
		<description>Suek and Angel;

Back in the day...(long time ago  ;) )...we had a bookmobile that went through our neighborhood. I was always breathless with the delight of being able to plow through a wealth of words and beauty and history. I used to caress my books all the way home and then I would plunge into a different world.

Thanks for the memories.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Suek and Angel;</p>
<p>Back in the day&#8230;(long time ago  <img src='http://lashawnbarber.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_wink.gif' alt=';)' class='wp-smiley' />  )&#8230;we had a bookmobile that went through our neighborhood. I was always breathless with the delight of being able to plow through a wealth of words and beauty and history. I used to caress my books all the way home and then I would plunge into a different world.</p>
<p>Thanks for the memories.</p>
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		<title>By: suek</title>
		<link>http://lashawnbarber.com/archives/2007/05/11/why-mothers-need-to-be-married/comment-page-3/#comment-90624</link>
		<dc:creator>suek</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 14 May 2007 21:00:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lashawnbarber.com/archives/2007/05/11/why-mothers-need-to-be-married/#comment-90624</guid>
		<description>re: 133 and 134.

What goes around etc.  Things come full circle.  Parents who don&#039;t care enough about their children reading aren&#039;t going to care about other children reading.
No, I&#039;m not &quot;ok&quot; with it - I see it as a terrible loss to our culture and the education of our children.
Now don&#039;t get hysterical on us!  I sense a real wind up in your emotion level here...!  On the other hand...go ahead and get hysterical...and pass it on!  It&#039;s a good thing - we should _all_ care about kids reading!</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>re: 133 and 134.</p>
<p>What goes around etc.  Things come full circle.  Parents who don&#8217;t care enough about their children reading aren&#8217;t going to care about other children reading.<br />
No, I&#8217;m not &#8220;ok&#8221; with it &#8211; I see it as a terrible loss to our culture and the education of our children.<br />
Now don&#8217;t get hysterical on us!  I sense a real wind up in your emotion level here&#8230;!  On the other hand&#8230;go ahead and get hysterical&#8230;and pass it on!  It&#8217;s a good thing &#8211; we should _all_ care about kids reading!</p>
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		<title>By: Angel</title>
		<link>http://lashawnbarber.com/archives/2007/05/11/why-mothers-need-to-be-married/comment-page-3/#comment-90597</link>
		<dc:creator>Angel</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 14 May 2007 19:09:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lashawnbarber.com/archives/2007/05/11/why-mothers-need-to-be-married/#comment-90597</guid>
		<description>Redbeard, 

      That&#039;s what I&#039;m talking about! Books, especially classic books, are incredible. You know those stupid quotes on the sides of Starbucks cups? Usually, they&#039;re some insipid nonsense. But, there was a quote from a teacher saying something to the effect that anytime you read a book by Mark Twain, for example, you got to &quot;communicate&quot; with the past. I&#039;ll find the exact quote because I thought it was pretty profound.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Redbeard, </p>
<p>      That&#8217;s what I&#8217;m talking about! Books, especially classic books, are incredible. You know those stupid quotes on the sides of Starbucks cups? Usually, they&#8217;re some insipid nonsense. But, there was a quote from a teacher saying something to the effect that anytime you read a book by Mark Twain, for example, you got to &#8220;communicate&#8221; with the past. I&#8217;ll find the exact quote because I thought it was pretty profound.</p>
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		<title>By: RedBeard</title>
		<link>http://lashawnbarber.com/archives/2007/05/11/why-mothers-need-to-be-married/comment-page-3/#comment-90594</link>
		<dc:creator>RedBeard</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 14 May 2007 18:41:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lashawnbarber.com/archives/2007/05/11/why-mothers-need-to-be-married/#comment-90594</guid>
		<description>Books were some of my best friends when I was a kid.  The fact that my parents had large numbers of books in the house, combined with my school (pre outcome-based education) promoting voracious reading habits, really helped me learn, enjoy, and appreciate the literary world.  

My new grandson is a month old, and already has a couple of dozen books in his room.  :-)</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Books were some of my best friends when I was a kid.  The fact that my parents had large numbers of books in the house, combined with my school (pre outcome-based education) promoting voracious reading habits, really helped me learn, enjoy, and appreciate the literary world.  </p>
<p>My new grandson is a month old, and already has a couple of dozen books in his room.  <img src='http://lashawnbarber.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':-)' class='wp-smiley' /> </p>
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		<title>By: Angel</title>
		<link>http://lashawnbarber.com/archives/2007/05/11/why-mothers-need-to-be-married/comment-page-3/#comment-90593</link>
		<dc:creator>Angel</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 14 May 2007 18:34:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lashawnbarber.com/archives/2007/05/11/why-mothers-need-to-be-married/#comment-90593</guid>
		<description>Suek, 

     Also, who is reading Harry Potter. LaShawn can&#039;t be the only one! There must be a sizable amount of children out there reading. 

To walk into a house of children with not one book on a shelf is witnessing cultural suicide.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Suek, </p>
<p>     Also, who is reading Harry Potter. LaShawn can&#8217;t be the only one! There must be a sizable amount of children out there reading. </p>
<p>To walk into a house of children with not one book on a shelf is witnessing cultural suicide.</p>
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		<title>By: Angel</title>
		<link>http://lashawnbarber.com/archives/2007/05/11/why-mothers-need-to-be-married/comment-page-3/#comment-90592</link>
		<dc:creator>Angel</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 14 May 2007 18:28:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lashawnbarber.com/archives/2007/05/11/why-mothers-need-to-be-married/#comment-90592</guid>
		<description>Suek, 

      I don&#039;t get that response at all. This is not a new phenomenon. We&#039;re not talking about middle-class kids who choose not to read in favor of vegging out in front of the TV. We&#039;re talking about poor kids whose parents either don&#039;t know or are willfully ignorant about the value of books in the upbringing of their children. 

I just want to be clear on what you&#039;re saying when you say &quot;what goes around comes around&quot;. Are you saying you&#039;re OK with this? I&#039;m not saying it&#039;s your responsibility to fix it. But, do you think it&#039;s ok?</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Suek, </p>
<p>      I don&#8217;t get that response at all. This is not a new phenomenon. We&#8217;re not talking about middle-class kids who choose not to read in favor of vegging out in front of the TV. We&#8217;re talking about poor kids whose parents either don&#8217;t know or are willfully ignorant about the value of books in the upbringing of their children. </p>
<p>I just want to be clear on what you&#8217;re saying when you say &#8220;what goes around comes around&#8221;. Are you saying you&#8217;re OK with this? I&#8217;m not saying it&#8217;s your responsibility to fix it. But, do you think it&#8217;s ok?</p>
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		<title>By: suek</title>
		<link>http://lashawnbarber.com/archives/2007/05/11/why-mothers-need-to-be-married/comment-page-3/#comment-90591</link>
		<dc:creator>suek</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 14 May 2007 18:05:38 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lashawnbarber.com/archives/2007/05/11/why-mothers-need-to-be-married/#comment-90591</guid>
		<description>&gt;&gt;These kids are missing out on a major part of our culture by not reading.&gt;&gt;

Heh.  Well, what goes around comes around - or whatever.  It seems to me that there aren&#039;t many children of _any_ race, color, or economic status reading much today - it&#039;s all tv, ipod, dvds etc.  So within the next generation or so, kids will all be on equal footing.
And all on a lower rung.

My kids tell me that books are passe&#039;.  That in the next generation, everybody will read books online - or at least from their computers.  Maybe.  It&#039;s beyond my imagination.  There&#039;s nothing quite like curling up with a good book....!  I also think that without print books, censorship will be much easier...but that may be a different issue.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>&gt;&gt;These kids are missing out on a major part of our culture by not reading.&gt;&gt;</p>
<p>Heh.  Well, what goes around comes around &#8211; or whatever.  It seems to me that there aren&#8217;t many children of _any_ race, color, or economic status reading much today &#8211; it&#8217;s all tv, ipod, dvds etc.  So within the next generation or so, kids will all be on equal footing.<br />
And all on a lower rung.</p>
<p>My kids tell me that books are passe&#8217;.  That in the next generation, everybody will read books online &#8211; or at least from their computers.  Maybe.  It&#8217;s beyond my imagination.  There&#8217;s nothing quite like curling up with a good book&#8230;.!  I also think that without print books, censorship will be much easier&#8230;but that may be a different issue.</p>
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		<title>By: Angel</title>
		<link>http://lashawnbarber.com/archives/2007/05/11/why-mothers-need-to-be-married/comment-page-3/#comment-90590</link>
		<dc:creator>Angel</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 14 May 2007 17:09:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lashawnbarber.com/archives/2007/05/11/why-mothers-need-to-be-married/#comment-90590</guid>
		<description>Suek, 

      I agree with you there. If there is going to be assistance, it should never be predicated on the absence of a resposible male in the household. I think where people have disagreements with the existence of such aid in the first place. I don&#039;t. But, you&#039;re right in that there should be incentives for positive behavior. And, as far as food stamps or EBT or whatever it&#039;s called this week, there should be nutritional restrictions. It should be impossible for a person on food assistance to buy 6 boxes of Ding-Dongs for their children. Apples, yes. No soda. Water and fruit juices. No candy. Trail mixes or other natural snacks. But, that&#039;s what I would do. I know it will never happen in this lifetime. 

Another thing that would be great, public libraries should give their excess books away to poor children. Volunteers could load up trucks and deliver them to the poorer areas. One of the most striking things about these households is the lack of books. I grew up in the projects after we moved to Boston and we had books all over the place. We read constantly. These kids are missing out on a major part of our culture by not reading.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Suek, </p>
<p>      I agree with you there. If there is going to be assistance, it should never be predicated on the absence of a resposible male in the household. I think where people have disagreements with the existence of such aid in the first place. I don&#8217;t. But, you&#8217;re right in that there should be incentives for positive behavior. And, as far as food stamps or EBT or whatever it&#8217;s called this week, there should be nutritional restrictions. It should be impossible for a person on food assistance to buy 6 boxes of Ding-Dongs for their children. Apples, yes. No soda. Water and fruit juices. No candy. Trail mixes or other natural snacks. But, that&#8217;s what I would do. I know it will never happen in this lifetime. </p>
<p>Another thing that would be great, public libraries should give their excess books away to poor children. Volunteers could load up trucks and deliver them to the poorer areas. One of the most striking things about these households is the lack of books. I grew up in the projects after we moved to Boston and we had books all over the place. We read constantly. These kids are missing out on a major part of our culture by not reading.</p>
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		<title>By: Angel</title>
		<link>http://lashawnbarber.com/archives/2007/05/11/why-mothers-need-to-be-married/comment-page-3/#comment-90589</link>
		<dc:creator>Angel</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 14 May 2007 16:49:46 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lashawnbarber.com/archives/2007/05/11/why-mothers-need-to-be-married/#comment-90589</guid>
		<description>One of the most ironic moments of the 1990s involving Bill Cosby. The Cosby Show, though it had been taken to task for making the parents high-achieving professionals, did a lot to show the black middle-class. Even the spin-off show, A Different World, gave the rest of America a peek at the world of black college life. 

But, on the same night of his series finale, the fires started raging in LA. The irony of that dichotomy always stuck with me. 

Bill Cosby is a celebrity &quot;good guy&quot;. I love the fact that he didn&#039;t become a bitter man, especially after the murder of his son. But, this side of Cosby is not new. The black community has been hearing this for a long time. That&#039;s what happens when you stop focusing on Sharpton, Jackson, et al. You begin to hear what &quot;real&quot; people are saying.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>One of the most ironic moments of the 1990s involving Bill Cosby. The Cosby Show, though it had been taken to task for making the parents high-achieving professionals, did a lot to show the black middle-class. Even the spin-off show, A Different World, gave the rest of America a peek at the world of black college life. </p>
<p>But, on the same night of his series finale, the fires started raging in LA. The irony of that dichotomy always stuck with me. </p>
<p>Bill Cosby is a celebrity &#8220;good guy&#8221;. I love the fact that he didn&#8217;t become a bitter man, especially after the murder of his son. But, this side of Cosby is not new. The black community has been hearing this for a long time. That&#8217;s what happens when you stop focusing on Sharpton, Jackson, et al. You begin to hear what &#8220;real&#8221; people are saying.</p>
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		<title>By: suek</title>
		<link>http://lashawnbarber.com/archives/2007/05/11/why-mothers-need-to-be-married/comment-page-3/#comment-90588</link>
		<dc:creator>suek</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 14 May 2007 16:34:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lashawnbarber.com/archives/2007/05/11/why-mothers-need-to-be-married/#comment-90588</guid>
		<description>Bill Cosby...one of the good guys -  absolutely!</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Bill Cosby&#8230;one of the good guys &#8211;  absolutely!</p>
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		<title>By: RedBeard</title>
		<link>http://lashawnbarber.com/archives/2007/05/11/why-mothers-need-to-be-married/comment-page-3/#comment-90587</link>
		<dc:creator>RedBeard</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 14 May 2007 16:26:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lashawnbarber.com/archives/2007/05/11/why-mothers-need-to-be-married/#comment-90587</guid>
		<description>In regard to #125, I&#039;m reminded of Bill Cosby talking about two of his kids who were fighting with each other.  He smacked them both.  When one protested that he wasn&#039;t being fair because the other one started it, he said something like:  &quot;Parents don&#039;t care about fairness; we care about QUIET.&quot;  LOL</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In regard to #125, I&#8217;m reminded of Bill Cosby talking about two of his kids who were fighting with each other.  He smacked them both.  When one protested that he wasn&#8217;t being fair because the other one started it, he said something like:  &#8220;Parents don&#8217;t care about fairness; we care about QUIET.&#8221;  LOL</p>
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		<title>By: Angel</title>
		<link>http://lashawnbarber.com/archives/2007/05/11/why-mothers-need-to-be-married/comment-page-3/#comment-90586</link>
		<dc:creator>Angel</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 14 May 2007 16:21:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lashawnbarber.com/archives/2007/05/11/why-mothers-need-to-be-married/#comment-90586</guid>
		<description>Suek, 

      I was 14 in 1981 and Boston had all the trappings of a &quot;big city&quot; (skyscrapers, subways, etc), but it&#039;s surrounded by a ring of neighborhoods like Dorchester, South Boston, Roxbury and Jamaica Plain. These neighborhoods are more like towns. 

Anyway, two developments in the culture conspired to take away control of our children. Crack and the &quot;gangsta&quot; rap phenomenon. Crack was a quick and easy way to make money. Of course, the response of Boston&#039;s mayor at the time, Ray Flynn, was to deny that gangs were forming on the streets. They were and, unlike other urban centers where gangs were already firmly entrenched, these new gangs were created solely to protect drug turf. 

Rap was great at the beginning. There are still great and positive performers. But, &quot;gangsta&quot; rap spread from LA which had a firmly entrenched gang culture. Boston didn&#039;t. Now, we do.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Suek, </p>
<p>      I was 14 in 1981 and Boston had all the trappings of a &#8220;big city&#8221; (skyscrapers, subways, etc), but it&#8217;s surrounded by a ring of neighborhoods like Dorchester, South Boston, Roxbury and Jamaica Plain. These neighborhoods are more like towns. </p>
<p>Anyway, two developments in the culture conspired to take away control of our children. Crack and the &#8220;gangsta&#8221; rap phenomenon. Crack was a quick and easy way to make money. Of course, the response of Boston&#8217;s mayor at the time, Ray Flynn, was to deny that gangs were forming on the streets. They were and, unlike other urban centers where gangs were already firmly entrenched, these new gangs were created solely to protect drug turf. </p>
<p>Rap was great at the beginning. There are still great and positive performers. But, &#8220;gangsta&#8221; rap spread from LA which had a firmly entrenched gang culture. Boston didn&#8217;t. Now, we do.</p>
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