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Because I’m not a pedophile, I don’t understand why people are sexually attracted to children. But being sexually attracted to children isn’t a crime. Acting on that attraction most certainly is.
Some perverted fool named James McHaney, who up until last Friday worked for U.S. senator Maria Cantwell, was arrested and charged with Attempted Child Exploitation. Check this out: He’d arranged to rape a 13-year-old boy, but the “pimp” actually was an FBI informant. The informant in this case had exchanged child porn with McHaney and told the FBI about him. They set up the sting, and he eagerly walked right into it.
(I was acquainted with various informants and cooperating witnesses [CWs] during my brief stint at the U.S. Attorneys Office, and they can be just as sleazy as the targets. I hated being around thugs so much, I thought the stress from it all had given me an ulcer. You’ve got to have a stomach for dealing with informants and CWs. But I digress…)
From the Washington Examiner:
James Michael Mchaney, 28, a scheduler for Sen. Maria Cantwell, D-Wash., was picked up by federal authorities Friday after allegedly showing up to meet with an acquaintance who Mchaney believed had made arrangements for him to have sex with a boy, according to the documents.
Cantwell’s Chief of Staff Michael Meehan released a statement late Monday, saying Mchaney had “immediately” been fired and the senator’s office was cooperating with the ongoing federal criminal investigation.
“Senator Cantwell has zero tolerance for crimes against children,” Meehan said.
Whenever I read or hear about stories where the pervert actually raped a child (and not just planned to rape a child), I try to view it from the perspective of a fellow fallen human touched by the grace of God. My first reaction should be, “There but for the grace of God…,” and to pray for the individuals in question. But it’s usually, “Death to pedophiles! Throw the pervert under the jail! Lock him in a stockade and let him die of exposure!”
(There is nothing unbiblical about a government executing child rapists, by the way.)
I can see myself, quite clearly, throwing a noose around a child rapist’s neck, tying him to the back of a horse, and dragging him around until he’s dead, or getting downright medieval on his sorry ***. Lynching never sounded so good. You don’t hurt children!
It’s a good thing I live in a civilized society. 
Make no mistake. That is a very un-Christian attitude. My first reaction should be to pray. Pray for the exploited children of the world…the weak and the vulnerable. Pray for the souls of perverts. It’s hard, I tell you. While praying for children comes more naturally, nothing in me wants to pray for a pervert.
It is Christ in me who wants me to pray for the sexual predator. He short-circuits my “Kill him!” charge and ramps up the power to my regenerated, touched-by-grace self. And I can pray.
Indeed. Let all the Christians pray for the perverted, that they may be converted and freed from the same sin that once enslaved us.
Update: Commenter Erica writes:
“As a mother, I understand your outrage. If anyone attempted to even seduce one of my children, let alone rape them, they would not be able to find enough pieces of them to have a trial. However, when I think of the people who do this, I remember that once long ago I paid a doctor to kill my own child — I had an abortion. You have to go pretty low on the food chain to find a female animal that would destroy its own offspring. As I crawl to the foot of the cross to beg forgiveness, I remember that these pedophiles are as lost and blind as I was, and they are already in torment, whether they admit it or not. And our precious Lord grieves over His lost children, and longs to set them free as he did for me.”
Update II (12/5): Just to clarify, it’s not “unChristian” to expect or even desire that someone be punished for his crimes. This post is about praying for the criminal, not excusing him from punishment. Bible readers/believers know the concept of punishment – paying a penalty for wrongdoing – is as biblical as it gets.
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Amen.
We really should pray for those that hurt children…but it is really, really hard. I think our attitude is key – we need to remember that in God’s Holy eyes our misguided actions are just as sinful as the pervert’s.
In one state that are trying to lower the age of consent I think to 13 years old. We have so worshipped sex in our country it is no surprise that we have come to this. Anyone that dared to say anything against it was reviled. Now we are dealing with sexual crimes that are getting more and more vile by the day. Maybe if some of these folk had listened things would not have gotten so bad.
The only hope for depraved mankind is a changed heart. Any person left up to their one desires could end up doing something just as depraved as messing with children. It takes a revelation of that fact before we can begin to find anything in us to pray for a child molester. Any impurity in God’s view is so impure. That is another revelation that may take a while to grasp as well.
IMHO the only thing that can help the perverts is an omnipotent God’s healing grace. It is appropriate to pray for their souls, even as they are being put to death.
When I read this headline, I was sure your blog would be about yet another repressed, closeted Republican.
As a mother, I understand your outrage. If anyone attempted to even seduce one of my children, let alone rape them, they would not be able to find enough pieces of them to have a trial. However, when I think of the people who do this, I remember that once long ago I paid a doctor to kill my own child — I had an abortion. You have to go pretty low on the food chain to find a female animal that would destroy its own offspring. As I crawl to the foot of the cross to beg forgiveness, I remember that these pedophiles are as lost and blind as I was, and they are already in torment, whether they admit it or not. And our precious Lord grieves over His lost children, and longs to set them free as he did for me.
Pray for the pervert…yes, I think I will. If it is one of my sons, I will pray for him right after I shoot him. Might he be one of God’s children? Well, let’s find out…quickly.
My big hangup is how to treat them after they have served their time and they move into a neighborhood near you. We live in an area where there is an awful high percentage of sex offenders moving in. According to the updates we receive on our email it is at least one or more a week move somewhere within a 1 mile area of our house.
I have six children and the thought of anyone near them that could do that is unbearable. I want to keep them safe as much as I can.
The problem is, you don’t know who is a repeat offender and who learned and wont do it anymore. As a recovering alcoholic is only one drink away from being a drunk, so to a sex predator is that close to repeating the offense. There are cities trying to keep them from living near schools, etc. Someone else proposed that sex offenders have different license plates so that wherever they drive everyone will know what they did.
What is the Biblical line we can draw between protecting people from someone and going too far?
LaShawn,
I’m a regular commenter, but please excuse me for not including my name. I am a Christian and a sex addict. Because of issues in my childhood I learned to medicate my pain with sex. Over the years I have learned to sexualize a lot of things that shouldn’t be sexualized. With the help of other Christians, counseling and other addicts I am on the road to recovery. Surely you as a recovering alchoholic can empathize with other addicts.
I tell you these things to say this: I don’t condone child molestation. It is inexcusable. However, I can understand how these people have ended up where they are. I suspect most are sex addicts that started out “using” pornography. They have excalated to the point where they are acting out in immoral and illegal ways with defenseless children. They are the most extreme drunks of the sexual addiction world.
Part of the problem in dealing with sexual “issues” is that we as a society can’t/won’t talk calmly and rationally about the problems. We as Christians have an inability to deal with sexual sin as we would any other sin. We have no problem welcoming an alchoholic into our midst and getting them help (even though their suffering isn’t victimless either). We make snide comments and gossip about sexual sin. We condemn the sexual addicts to prison and death. This makes getting help much more difficult.
We need to break the cycle of abuse that leads to the production of the next generation of sexual sinners. Please pray for these people to realize that they are sick and need help. Please pray for those of us who want help and are repenting and reforming with the grace of God.
I hope that someday God will bless me with recovery. I trust that when that happens He will also give me a way to share what has happened to me. We are very soon going to be a nation of “perverts” if we continue on our path to hell.
i agree with your outrage but erica’s comment really puts things in perspective. i was blown away by her story.
100% right.
I also feel outraged. But I think part of being a Christian is doing what’s right even when it goes against what we feel.
And part of the problem is that in our secular society we’re all encouraged to do what we feel, and “forgiveness and compassion” doesn’t mean helping people not to sin, it means pretending the sin isn’t really sinful, and condemning the people who call it what it is. That’s nice and feely-goody. But it doesn’t help anyone, or cleanse anyone. We should pray for these people, even–or maybe especially–if what we feel like doing is gouging their eyes out.
However, I disagree with the person who doesn’t think child molesters should be imprisoned. Part of the cleansing process means accepting the consequences of one’s actions. Sometimes that involves unpleasantness. And often molesters don’t want to be freed; prison keeps them away from doing something they know is wrong.
I would never equate a pedophile whose intentions are to deliberately cause suffering to his young, helpless victim, with a frightened girl or woman who aborts something she cannot see and is therefore not necessarily real to her, and whose motivation is NOT to cause pain to another human being (though that is the end result). Big difference.
There are also degrees of sin, and what is in the sinner’s heart counts. I do not know why anyone would think that all sins are created equal. Is gossiping about my neighbor really just exactly the same in the eyes of God as raping my neighbor’s little girl? Hello? It is quite clear from biblical scriptures that different crimes warrant different penalties.
As for the sexual addict who wrote anonymously — I wish you the very best in your efforts to recover. However, no one should ever be placed in jeopardy in order to give you a second chance. Part of your recovery must involve accepting responsibility for what you are and what you have done, and accept that your actions have caused the community to lose trust in you. Sexual predators (you do not say if this is your issue) have been shown to be incurable. The only option for them, then, is complete separation from children and that means also separation from families. It is unfortunate that circumstances in our society have led to the development of sex offenders, who were born innocent babies at one time just like everyone else. Life is not fair. But the first priority of any society is the protection of innocent members, even if that means that others must remain isolated.
Trish,
I assume you are speaking to me regarding not imprisoning sex offenders. I do believe that everyone must face the consequences of their actions. Society has decided that prison is a possible consequence for sexual abuse. I have no problem with that. The threat of prison, does however, make it more difficult to reach and treat those suffering from sexual addictions. Would you rather catch them and punish them or reach them and treat them before they vicimize again?
I maintain that prison for sexual offenders is not the best way to break the cycle of abuse. Research has shown that most abusers were abused themselves. I only wish for us as a society and as Christians to be able to talk about sexual problems as openly and without shame as we do food or alchohol addictions. Sunlight is an amazing disinfectant. Any hidden sin is immensly more powerful than those that are confessed.
Batyah,
You talk about sin, but you don’t say if you are a Christian. You are confusing penalties for crimes with eternal consequences of sin. Yes, society has said that some CRIMES are worse than others and should be punished more harshly. I have no problem with that.
Even one SIN (say a “little” one like gossip) is enough to separate us from God. The same thing goes for murder (your example of abortion). Sin is sin. It separates us from God. The only way around it is grace given from God and cleansing through the blood of Jesus. Doesn’t matter if it’s one or a million. Doesn’t matter what the sin is. It’s in the bible (look it up).
I thank you for your kind words. No, my issues don’t include pedophilia. My sins would be considered victomless (though my wife would correctly disagree). I do accept responsability for what I have done. It’s the second step of recovery. (the first was admitting I had a problem.) I agree that sexual predators are incurable, but they aren’t beyond Gods healing. If I can repent and reform then so can others.
I find your positions, that children should be protected from sexual predetors and that abortion is ok if the mother means well, inconsistant. I don’t think you can have it both ways. Both are wrong. Society and the law consider them differently, but God doesn’t. They are both sins to be repented of and requiring the grace of God to forgive.
LaShawn,
Thanks to you for providing this forum where we can exchange ideas and talk about things like sexual sins in an adult fashion. This is what we need more of. I still hold hope that prayer, hard work and Gods grace can impact ALL the lives suffering from sin in our world.
People that commit crimes such as pedophelia have to be punished for those crimes. That threat of punishment is how a society concretely sets what its standards are. If I was guilty of a crime, I am sure I’d much rather be rehabilitated than sent to prison or otherwise punished. Punishment and rehabilitation don’t have to be mutually exclusive. Lots of people have been rehabilitated in prison while being punished for their crimes. You don’t hear about many of them though since they don’t generally look for attention when pursuing a new life.
Christian beliefs tell us to pray for the sinner, but IMHO, that should never be allowed to cloud the fact that our Lord is also Just God, not just a Merciful God. It is not unchristian to expect a person that has committed a horrible crime against an innocent child to be punished for it. Is it unchristian to ask the Lord to bring such a criminal to justice?
Part of the problem in dealing with sexual “issues” is that we as a society can’t/won’t talk calmly and rationally about the problems.
Speak for yourself.
The threat of prison, does however, make it more difficult to reach and treat those suffering from sexual addictions. Would you rather catch them and punish them or reach them and treat them before they vicimize again?
I want to catch them and stop them. If the threat of prison is an issue, they’re doing something that’s hurting others. Once they’re prevented from doing further harm I’ll start worrying about their mental and spiritual health.
I maintain that prison for sexual offenders is not the best way to break the cycle of abuse. Research has shown that most abusers were abused themselves.
What better way of breaking the cycle than preventing any possibility of further abuse by locking them far away from potential victims?
We have no problem welcoming an alchoholic into our midst and getting them help (even though their suffering isn’t victimless either).
It doesn’t victimize quite the same way, now does it? – unless of course you kill someone with your car while drunk, in which much of society will treat you as a murderer (except in Massachusetts, where they’ll elect you Senator).
The threat of prison, does however, make it more difficult to reach and treat those suffering from sexual addictions. Would you rather catch them and punish them or reach them and treat them before they vicimize again?
I want to catch them and stop them. If the threat of prison is an issue, they’re doing something that’s hurting others. Once they’re prevented from doing further harm I’ll start worrying about their mental and spiritual health.
There’s this smell coming off your writings that you’re trying to use the “disease” label to evoke pity from others and to hide from yourself the awfulness of actions you have taken.
Now I actually have a lot of pity for someone whose sexual urges are for doing something that they know is categorically, unalterably wrong. They’re going to have a miserable life, and there’s pretty much nothing current psychological or psychiatric practice can do for them beyond “chemical castration.”
But once they start acting on such urges, they’re doing harm and protecting innocents from harm has to take priority.
Ralph,
God bless you sir. I’m happy for you that everything is so black and white in your world. It certainly is much easier than dealing with the messiness. I certainly am speaking for myself. I don’t believe that I have purported to speak for anyone else.
Prison for those that break the law is certainly valid. We as a society have the right to punish actions we deem wrong. If you will reread what I have posted you will see that I maintain that it complicates the issue of treating sexual addiction.
You sir, do not know what actions I have committed and your assumption is unkind. I have not broken any of man’s laws…only God’s. I still suffer the consequences of my actions. I don’t ask for or deserve anyones pity. I am asking that we deal with sexual addiction openly. The shame is preventing us as a society from dealing with the problem.
God will show you the mercy that you show others. I pray that you get better than you deserve.
Matt,
I don’t disagree with anything you have said. I only ask that we as a society deal openly with the issue of sexual addiction much in the same manner as we do alchoholism.
It’s time for us to grow up talk about sexual problems in a mature manner. We are about to lose a generation of young men. The prevalance of pornography has expoloded. This is but the first step in producing a generation of “perverts”. We don’t have enough jail space to hold everyone who is going to deserve it in 30 years.
withheld–
You’re right about sin. But I believe you’re completely wrong about prison. One of the reasons I say this is that I’ve heard and read interviews from pedophiles, and most of them say, unequivocally, “Lock me up! Don’t give me the chance to do this again.” Prison for sex offenders is an important part of the healing process. It isn’t a “threat”, nor does it make it more difficult to reach and treat them. It is right and necessary.
Child molestation is a very different thing from sexual addiction. It is a form of rape. And yes, rape must have legal consequences.
We should not talk about sexual addictions without shame, and we should not talk about food or alcohol addiction without shame. They are shameful things. Shame is the first step to repentance and healing. Without it we really are just hairless apes. In order to deal with sexual offenses openly, we must openly admit that they are, indeed, shameful things.
Please don’t ever use that phrase “cycle of abuse” again. Most people who have been abused, sexually or otherwise, do NOT commit abuse themselves. Being abused is not an excuse for committing abuse, and using what Alan Dershowitz called “the abuse excuse” leads the offender farther away from redemption.
I wonder why you are taking this discussion so personally when, if your assertions are true, it is not about you at all. This isn’t about legal adult behavior with adults. No one is suggesting imprisoning you. I don’t accuse you of deliberately misconstruing what we’re saying, but perhaps you should consider why it seems to have struck such a nerve.
God bless everyone here.
There is a bit of a difference between my obeying the commandment to forgive my neighbor, and putting children at risk. We are instructed to love (and forgive) our neighbors. Not just correct but the only way that can get anything done right. That does not mean shutting my (our) eyes to our duty to protect children. All children. In the process of protecting our children lies part of our duty to our friends and neighbors.
Trish/Ted, exactly! More so when one considers Jesus’ own words in Matt 18:6. Furthermore, in Roms 13, we see it is the duty of government to wield the sword of justice and when necessary to execute capital punishment.
Thing is, we need to pray for those who have such impulses before they act on them. I will give all honor and respect to the man who has such desires (which I assume he cannot help) but who finds the moral strength not to act on them.
What makes a criminal and what makes a mentally ill person? This argument could be extended to kleptomaniacs, arsonists, serial killers. And do these people deserve lighter consequences than the person whose poor upbringing and circumstances have “forced” them into crime? (I’m thinking now of a student who just got caught stealing food from our cafeteria because her guardian hasn’t bought food for the kids in 2 weeks.) These are questions I’ve pondered for a while and haven’t decided upon yet.
Grey areas thoroughly intrigue me, and I’d love to hear your ideas. I’m not religious, so I don’t take religious concepts into account…
Teacherlady, the student stealing food because she was hungry is not the criminal, her guardian is.
The root of mental illness is sin, therefore criminality & mental illness are irreversibly linked. However, since you don’t take religion into account the distinction would be meaningless.
Since society has decided to secularize mental illness, we have to look at it in that context. History has shown that “victims” of mental illness were banished from society. We did likewise by banishment to asylums. Now that we’re so enlightened, we have welcomed them back into our society and as a result suffer from repeated violations of our social codes.
What’s ironic is that Cantwell lies that ALL men who like foreign women are pedophiles and need to be regulated via her pet bill IMBRA that she sneaked into law. No hypocisy there!
If the root of mental illness is sin, Andy, who committed the sin? You enclosed the word victims in parentheses, which indicates to me, for one, that you don’t view them as victims, that you see them as sinners who caused their own mental problems.
If so, why isn’t every sinner…and that includes every one of us…mentally ill?
Many or most doctors in this field believe that mental problems stem from a physical cause and it is hard to dispute that.
Therefore, heart problems, diabetes, cancer, multiple sclerosis, muscular dystrophy and scores of other illness that beset human beings are brought on by the sins of the “victims”.
The majority of those who suffer mentally are not out there committing crimes. Some of them even have a fear of leaving their homes.
I disagree with your blanket statement that “criminality and mental illness are irreversibly linked”.
“Thing is, we need to pray for those who have such impulses before they act on them.”
We can keep on praying for them afterwards too. There’s no reason you can’t or shouldn’t pray for someone’s soul while you are chasing, catching, trying and punishing them. Doing so is good for the souls of those who have to do the unpleasant work of protecting society so that they don’t become infected by the evil they have to work with on a daily basis, so that they remain in a mind frame of “protectors of the innocent” rather than one of vindictiveness.
Trish,
Please don’t misunderstand me. I do make a distinction between pedophiles and sexual addiction. However, I believe the distinction is only one of degree. It has been my experience that sexual addiction starts off with “safe” or “soft” pornography and progresses to more and more shocking materials. The problem is that these materials cease to become shocking or repugnant to the addict. All sexual addicts eventually find themselves in places they never thought they would go. They go there in search of the high. Pornography is just like a drug. Most (but not all) sexual addicts also end up acting out their addiction in the real world. Some chase women (affairs or prostitutes), some become “bisexual” and some become pedophiles. (I haven’t covered all the perversions, but I’m sure you get the idea.) Having said that, many sex addicts do not become pedophiles etc. Some of us posess the self control or just aren’t wired that way. I don’t know why that is.
I make a distinction between guilt or conviction and shame. Guilt or conviction is a realization, given by God, that an individual has sinned and deserves punishment or the consequences of that sin. Shame is an unhealthy wallowing in sin that prevents an individual from repenting and moving past the sin. Guilt reforms, shame destroys.
I don’t know what research you are reading, but many (not all, I know) abusers (and many sex addicts) were abused themselves. Not only have I read this research, but I am personally familiar with my own story and that of others.
from Ralph:There’s this smell coming off your writings that you’re trying to use the “disease” label to evoke pity from others and to hide from yourself the awfulness of actions you have taken.
I don’t think I am misinterpreting what Ralph had to say here. I take it personally because I suffer from sexual addiction and I can identify with the sufferings of other addicts. If you will read my original post I only ask that we openly discuss the issue. That is still what I want.
I am a sinner, saved by Grace. Every one who reads these words is the same (plus or minus the Grace, depending on their acceptance of it). All sin is the same in the eyes of God. I don’t expect non Christians to understand this. I hope that the Church may someday learn to help sexual sinners just like any other. Being short of that understanding I will model Christ and challenge those of you without sin to throw the stones. (AGAIN, I am NOT saying prison is not appropriate for those who break the law!)
We must pray for everyone, no matter the nature of their sin. To me, there is no worse sin then pedophilia. The Bible emphatically warns against harming the young.
So what should we do with peodophiles.
Pray for them? Forgive them? Love them? Protect children from them? All of the above!
Putting them in jail, or keeping track of their location should have nothing to do with forgiveness. Having said that, and affirming that it seems to be what my personal hero advocates, I have to admit that pedophilia is something that I am unable to be very forgiving about.
When you view an unborn child as “someTHING”, then it’s easy to think that a practicing pedophile and a woman who aborts her unborn child have nothing in common.
But change “someTHING”, to “someBODY”, and then the connection is clear — or at least it should be. “Intent” has nothing to do with consequence. A child had been harmed, in both cases.
As Christians, we understand that ALL sin separates us from a sinless God. We know that Jesus died for the liar, just as He died for the pedophile.
So, despite how we may “feel” about those who hurt children (in my “natural” mind, I’d be one of the first to grab a pistol), we’re still obligated to pray for them, asking God to do a work in their lives, and bring them to repentance and wholeness. God loves them.
Jo-Marie @ #26, sorry for my delayed response, we were out of power for most of the time down here in OK. Perhaps we disagreee due to differing fundamental worldviews, but I’ll address the main points as follows:
1)
1st of all, we’re all sinners and our hearts are exceedingly wicked, both morally & physically. Even when we strive to be good in all things, our best is as disgusting to God as filthy rags, without repentance and redemption thru Christ our Savior(Psa 101, Ecc 9:3, Jer 17:9, Joh 8:44, Isa 64:6, Rom 3:10).
2)
The Bible compares Satan as to a roaring lion, seeking whom he may destroy. Satan will exploit whatever mental, physical and/or spiritual weaknesses he can find in us, in order to bring us down (Deu 18:9-13, Job 1:5-2:10, 1Pe 5:7-9, 2Co 11:13-15, Eph 6:10-18).
That said, we need to be clear on the difference between mental ‘impairment’, ie injury, trauma or some other physical damage, versus ‘illness’ such as bi-polarism, depression, schizophrenia etc. As a result of our sins, we’re afflicted in different ways, however, seeking after God’s wisdom, self-discipline, soberness and vigilence, resisting irrational emotions and unmotivated by Man’s approval are keywords to avoid suffering mental illness (Psa 101, Book of Proverbs, Daniel 1, Luk 16:15, Rom 1:17-32, 2Ti 2:15), and/or cognitive dissonance (Isaiah 44, especially verses 18-20).
3)
The root of sin is rebellion and the consequences may manifest itself in various ways to include physical diseases, depression, paranoia and/or insanity by demon possession. When one looks at Biblical cases of possession (1Sa 16:12-23, 1Sa 28:5-20, Mat 8:16-34, Mat 9:20-33, Mat 12:22-45, Act 8:6-24, Act 16:16-18), the traits all fall under the secular term ‘mental illness’. Also, note the difference in which those with “natural” physical disabilities are healed versus those with demonic-induced impairments, and Christ’s explanation of how one comes to be possessed. In any case, the medical profession hasn’t cured mental illness of any sort, they merely alter the outward manifestations of illness, i.e. sedation and/or shorting-out impulses.
Only Christ can heal mental illness. As for the Christian, if there’s a case of one suffering from mentally illness, then there’s a case unconfessed sin(s) somewhere (1Jo 1:9, James 1) because fullness of joy and mental anguish are simply incompatible in a state of forgiveness.
Bottomline, altho Satan cannot know our hearts (1Ki 8:39, 2Ch 6:30, Psa 44:21, Psa 139:23-24), he is the supreme psychologist bar none — as he entices with images of sweet tempations, while jerking the chains of sanity. He has used sex most effectively to bind and torment mankind since the fall of man in the Garden of Eden. Man simply cannot free himself by applying the best that science can offer.
Politically speaking, in reviewing the verses, I can’t help but notice how descriptive they are of our leading secular progressives. While no one has a lock on Truth & Wisdom, not everyone wants to hear, let alone abide by them.
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