9/8: Your kind words mean a lot to me. Thanks for commenting. 
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In July, I lost my biggest client. It wasn’t the economy; it was technical problems.
Panic Room
What are you doing, God?
Most of my monthly income was gone, just like that. I needed to act fast. I did what I should have been doing over the years. I began looking for new clients in earnest. I signed up at “creative” temporary employment agencies. I scanned the classifieds and applied for full and part time jobs. Nothing panned out. Strangely, I wasn’t too disappointed. After working at home for three years, the very thought of returning to a drafty office with harsh fluorescent lights and working on stuff I couldn’t care less about was unpleasant.
I was fondly accustomed to sliding out of bed, showering if I felt like it, going to the corner Starbucks, and leisurely walking back home as I watched people hustling to the Metro station and cars madly rushing across the intersection to beat the light. I’d grown attached to working in spurts, then breaking up the day to walk to the post office or store, or working in Love Café (with free wireless and good cupcakes). Sometimes I planned my schedule so I’d be finished by noon, and I hardly ever worked past 3 o’ clock.
I don’t want to go back!
But I was willing to do what I had to do. I could get by through July and August. After that, oh man. Not being able to pay your bills is uncool. I was paying the price for not diversifying my income, for putting all my proverbial eggs in one teetering basket, and for not planning for such an event financially, emotionally, and spiritually.
Throughout all of this, my sister in California got an earful, every week. Months ago, she asked if I’d thought about moving out there with her and my niece. It would help both of us in so many ways. (My sister’s divorced, we both could use the spiritual accountability, even with less money, I could still pay my bills, etc.) I think we talked about it for five minutes. Yes, I’d thought about it, but I wasn’t ready to leave DC. Months later, let’s just say I had a change of heart! I took her up on her offer. Not only would I dodge a 9-to-5 bullet, I’d get to live in a lovely place. I hate Southern California’s politics, but I adore Southern California. Those hills. That ocean. The weather. Just…gorgeous.
I got into moving mode, though I hadn’t yet lifted a finger. I didn’t want to move under these conditions: scared, confused, angry with myself, a dwindling bank account…
God was doing something. I didn’t know what, but that’s what trusting him is about. Trusting relieves burdens and calms fears. I avoided sinking into despair by focusing on his nature, his character. No matter how bad my situation became, I was still a child of his, and he cares about me and even my most minor concerns. He loves me. I didn’t have to understand the plan or see clearly the path in front of me.
[I wrote this post for readers who requested more details on why I decided to switch coasts.]
Lifelines
Just breathe.
Trusting God doesn’t mean worrying disappears. It’s a tendency that is always present, and worry floods into our minds, unbidden.
In the midst of all this worry, a literary agent called to say he didn’t think the book proposal I pitched in a query letter I’d sent him had potential, but he wanted to see a different proposal, perhaps one based on what I’d been doing on this blog for the past four years (the book idea I sent him had nothing to do with politics or faith or this blog). What a thing to happen while surrounded by waves of uncertainty. I grabbed onto the lifeline.
Then I landed two new clients.
Enough Rope
Why not?
Financially speaking, I no longer had to move to California. I couldn’t come up with a good enough reason to stay in DC, however, so I kept my California plans. Emotionally and spiritually, I need to go.
Moving to California means I get to spend more time with my nine-year-old niece and watch her grow up. She’s got a minor star-struck streak going on, just like her auntie. She was all excited about meeting and taking a picture with Raven-Symone a couple of weeks ago.
I saw my niece being born. I wasn’t supposed to be there, but the doctor let me stay. “I’ll pretend I don’t see you,” he said. It’s funny how someone who didn’t exist on a Tuesday can come into the world on a Wednesday, and completely alter your life.
Moving to California means I’ll get to attend John MacArthur’s church more often. Living so close to Los Angeles will open up opportunities to seek out, interview (in person), and blog/write about Bible-believing Christians in Hollywood like Kirk Cameron, and making contacts with “family-friendly” companies like Walden Media and getting invited to movie premieres.
And the music. It wasn’t a popular feature on this blog, but for better or for worse, it’s making a comeback now that I’ll be closer to a music PR agency I worked with and bands I like and venues I want to visit.
My list of reasons for moving to California grows every day, but this post is a decent snapshot. Doors close, and others open. I’m stepping through one of those open doors. We’re hardly ever faced with a brick wall. There’s always new terrain to navigate, no matter how rocky, a new direction, and a way out.
Being spontaneous and doing the unexpected inject novelty into the daily grind of living, I’ll tell you.
Before I head to the coast, I’m recharging in SC. Because of stress and the physical activity of preparing for a big move, I’ve lost at least 11 pounds. I think I look good, but my mother says I look ill. She’s determined to “fatten” me up before I leave.
I thought I’d outgrown the urge to throw everything I could fit into a car and go (clarification: figure of speech - I’m flying to CA, although I drove to SC from DC last week). But I haven’t!
Thank goodness.
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Golly, La Shawn.
Hard times? Down on your luck? Life ain’t fair?
You should’ve asked the gub’mint for a handout.
“Doors close, and others open.”
Love it.
Good luck & God bless!
Thanks for sharing this La Shawn. I am happy for you. It’s not surprising to me that our Father, would bless you in such ways.
You will love it out here - except for the traffic, but the weather makes up for it!
A work in progress……I will be interested in the updates.
How exciting for you! I’m sure you’ll prosper, emotionally and physically. Just think, now you can take that cup of coffee down to the beach and ponder all that is before you.
And, I bet Mr. Right is there too (just a hunch)
Praise God! No matter what happens there or on the way, you know that if He urges you, there’s a good reason. You’ll be blessed
How was it technical problems?
I could say a lot about how my life has been while reading your blog–until the past few months, I was in the desert, and on top of that, my husband lost work and there were other family health things that went on, and major testing. I thought I’d never get out of the wilderness, but I’ve learned a LOT–it was hard, but worth the pain. No pain, no gain!
Watching your life unfold as you go from strength to strength is so uplifting. I can’t wait to read your first book! Seeing your face peeking from the shelves of Barnes and Nobles will be such fun.
From a former Southern Californian, just watch out for the rude pretentious people out there. Don’t let them get you. If you are driving out there via I-20 through Texas, be careful with your speeds in West Texas (it’s the most boring leg of the trip). Once in LA, avoid I-405 at all costs!
YOUR GIFT WILL MAKE ROOM FOR YOU, MY SISTER!
“You will be blessed when you come in and blessed when you go out.” -Deut 28:6
I look forward to hearing how God continues to bless you out on the West Coast.
Enjoy the drive…
LaShawn, all the best to you in your new home. It’s amazing, isn’t it, how God takes care of us? I’ll admit, when you first mentioned you were moving, I felt glad that you’d be getting out of D.C., whatever the circumstances. SoCal is much prettier, and hopefully less stressful. You’re braver than I, however; as a dyed-in-the-wool Hoosier, any westward move I ever make will have to stop at the Wabash River.
Good luck!
All the best - enjoy God’s new adventure for you! Maybe you can connect with Barbara Nicolosi of Act One while you’re out there…
http://churchofthemasses.blogspot.com
God Bless you and best wishes in your move.
LaShawn, it’s exciting to see all this work in your life. Our Lord deals with me in almost the same way and has done so many times in my life. One bit of encouragement and confirmation: He is Faithful. Keep us posted, it’s great to read. Suz
La Shawn, and those who are near and love you. I-80 will carry you to wyoming, to rawlins if things are in tight straights. Won’t be easy, but if we are upholding the lords work, there will be a way.Ted Moore offers aid.
Welcome to So Cal! It’s just gorgeous isn’t it?
I’m so glad your here. DO you live where you can feel the sea breeze coming in at night?
Welcome to California. We aren’t all rude drivers, though I will have to agree with Tracey, avoid the 405 during the week. The weekend is not bad for LA traffic.
Looking forward to many adventures with you, Sis!
I hope your move goes smoothly. If you drive through Colorado Springs, let me know and I’ll buy you a cup of tea.
LaShawn,
I always Love reading your blog! I am so glad that things have worked out for you. I wish you all the best…and can’t wait to hear more. We need your voice on the web. A loyal reader!
Houston, Texas
I do not think you will regret moving to California. It is a beautiful state full of wonderful people. Good luck with your move!
The story of your decision to move reminds me of Kathleen in “You’ve Got Mail”. She had to make the hard decision to close her business and start a new professional life. I’ll never forget the scene where Jean Stapleton tells her that she has done the courageous thing - “You have dared to dream that your life could be different.” This quote inspires me, though I have yet to make such a change. Perhaps one day, I will have the same kind of courage . . . God bless you and good luck!
LaShawn, you are doing a great job of being a good example of how to make your dream work and how to use your faith to make your real life better.
I’ll admit I’m more interested in your political blogging but enjoyed the music blogs because it was different from what I typically read. Your style and enthusiasm made them fun reads. I’ve learned to not try to guess what your opinion might be.
I look forward to your work about whatever you choose to blog about!
LaShawn,
Thanks for the great post, it is truly inspiring. Great reminder about the mysteries of the Lord and how much he truly loves us.
Being a Child of Christ gives us the greatest Freedom ever known.
LaShawn,
Thank you for sharing that! I was just “released” from my day job, and have absolutely NO desire to look for another one; though my financial situation says otherwise. I’m praying for some lifelines that will allow me to work from home, a heart’s desire I’ve had… oh for forever, but have never been able to make a successful go of. Your post was encouraging to me that, when it’s time, the Lord will work it out, but boy, the trust needed!
I’m in Southern Cal as well, not far from John MacArthur’s church: so if you ever want to do coffee, I would be open to hooking up!
Blessings and success in your future endeavors, and look forward to your new perspectives that occur when you transplant to a different place.
Best of luck to you LaShawn. You’re right, we don’t always know God’s plan but if you trust in Him all things are possible.
Proverbs 3:5-6…Trust in the Lord with all your heart;do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do,and he will show you which path to take.
Wrina
Many blessings with your new direction!
La Shawn,
This is one of the few times I can say to someone, “I know what you’re going through.” I’m a transplanted Midwesterner living in the Los Angeles area. (My wife is from here and convinced me to move 5 years ago). About six months ago I got laid off from the full time job I’d had for four years. Like you, my company’s troubles had nothing to do with the economy. For the first time in twenty years, I found myself unemployed, with a family of five to feed. Scary!
I saw the layoff coming and had what I thought was another job lined up. I had been called in for three interviews, and on the day I expected to get an offer, the employer had an “emergency” and put the position on hold. Several similar opportunities have come up, where I was in the top two or three candidates but didn’t quite get the job, or I was offered the job based on conditions that couldn’t quite be met.
Nevertheless, I’ve been working steadily almost since the day I got laid off. One freelance job after another has come my way (I’m a web developer). I’ve done little to cultivate the work; God has simply provided. The projects I’ve gotten have been challenging, forcing me to expand and sharpen my skills. I’m having more fun than I’ve had in years.
And yet, I still find myself seeking the safety net of full time employment and the steady, predictable paycheck. And each time I think it’s going to happen, the opportunity vanishes. God is teaching me that HE is my safety net. After all, what is more assuring than having the creator of the universe looking out for you?
The best part of this is that it gives me the opportunity to praise God and tell others about his faithfulness. So, even though I don’t know what’s going to happen from week to week, life is good, because God is good!
I hope to have an opportunity to meet you out here sometime, La Shawn.
Safe travels.
Doug,
Great stuff!
LaShawn,
I wanted to let you know that you are truly an inspiration on my life. I read your blog faithfully and I can tell that you have been ordained by God for something greater than you can possibly imagine.
I look forward to watching your career take full-flight; LA will be your springboard to greatness!
Joshua
Thank you so much for bareing your soul and sharing how your faith has informed your view of this difficult and transitioning time of your life. Your courage and strength are remarkable and inspiring. Melissa has told me about your blog but I am just now getting over here to read.
That is a beautiful story.
Good luck with your move and enjoy your family!
John MacArthur is the most authoritative and impressive pastor and Biblical scholar. My husband and I attend his 10:30am service about once a month as we live about an hour away. In Southern California, we are blessed with many pastors faithful to the Word, including Chuck Smith of Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa (where we worship regularly) and Raul Ries of Calvary Chapel Golden Springs in Diamond Bar.
I can’t wait to see what God has planned for you here. Blessings to you on your move.
The thing that struck me about your story was that you will get to be with your 9 year old niece. I have been helping my sister out every weekend and many whole weeks here and there with her 3 boys 10, 9 and 7…for the past ten years. I never thought I’d be the “old spinster aunt” because I felt called to marriage, but those boys have brought me so much closer to God and the love I never got elsewhere. Enjoy seeing the world through her modern eyes and sharing your hard-won wisdom with her. She’ll have that the rest of her life.
LaShawn–
God bless you, my sister in Him! I’m so glad things appear to be turning around for you. I hope it all works out well, and you are blessed beyond belief. What a wonderful opportunity, to be a part of your niece’s life–helping to shape and mold her worldview. And getting to attend John MacArthur’s church–cool! One of my closest friends, who lives just north of LA, attends there. His teaching is solid. I’ve listened to him on the radio for about three decades now.
As someone who was born out here on the west coast and has watched it change from a moderate to a solidly left-leaning climate, yeah, it’s often hard and you tend to feel isolated. But there’s the ‘net and talk radio. They help keep one’s political perspective straight.
Again, may God bless you as you make these changes in your life, and may He draw you ever closer to Him as you move to a new place in obedience to His call. (((((((((hugs)))))))))
I agree with John: God is our safety net. I know that from experience as well.
I meant Doug! Doug said God is our safety net, and I agree, learned via experience (and the Bible of course).
God bless beloved friend and happy trails. If I were the sensitive type, I’d be offended. I just move here and off you go? (Giggle)
Been down some of your professional roads, La Shawn, and believe God has good things for you. Psalm 37 might be the ticket, especially verse 4 about delighting yourself in Him and receiving the desires of your heart.
Hey La Shawn,
Welcome to Cali! I live in Northern California and don’t care for SOCAL.
Sounds like God is leading you where you need to go. Enjoy the journey!
Oh, and it sounds like you’re flying out, but if you are by chance driving…through the Dallas area…I’d love to buy you lunch/dinner/coffee/whatever!
Love California, even with the weird mindset of it’s coastal citizens. Venice Beach is one of my favorite places to go walking and people-watching. The Santa Monica pier is a fun place to take a child. And I’m a Disney nut, so the happiest place on earth is one of my favorite places to go.
Blessings for you and your new life.
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