Sometimes I wonder how much easier life would be if I weren’t a Christian.

I could, without a conscience or knowledge of the great and terrible truth of the wrath to come, do and say things I’m ashamed to do or say now. I could walk to the beat of my own drum and worship a god of my own making, as I once did. I could craft my own salvation plan, as unbelievers do, and call myself a good person because the “good” I do outweighs the bad.

I feel limited as a Christian, because I know unbelievers are always watching, waiting for me to display “un-Christian” behavior and attitudes. For instance, a homosexual e-mailed to say that last post I wrote was “sneering.” He’s right. And I meant every single word of it.

Is sneering a sin? Is sarcasm an abomination before God? Is disgust wrong? The Bible teaches that Christians should be disgusted by sin, especially our own. If I’ve got a plank in my own eye, I must remove it first. I’m still learning how to distinguish sinful anger from righteous indignation.

How do I express myself about these things without being overly harsh? Yes, I’m aware that my tone is sometimes harsh, but I try to say it as plainly as I see it. In fact, I’m exercising a lot of restraint when I blog about things that make me angry. A lot of restraint. No telling what I’d say if I disregarded my conscience, which would eat me alive later, or the shame that would overwhelm me.

God has been merciful to restrain me.

There’s a lot of work to be done, Christians. I want to be effective for the kingdom, not a hindrance to it. People will refuse to hear or accept the truth. They’ll mock us, sneer at us, and even try to harm us. That doesn’t mean we return evil for evil or anger for anger. I’ve accepted my calling to use my writing talents, how ever great or small, to share the Gospel. And I’m preparing for the season when he sends me to hostile places to speak to people, face to face. If you’re a Christian reading this blog, please pray for me…and for one another.