It’s not easy to read someone accusing you of being a self-hater, hater of black people, race traitor, a racist, anti-Catholic, a religious bigot, and a host of other things.
But no one ever told me living this life would be easy.
I started trying to publish my “controversial” opinions about seven years ago. After some success on newspaper op-ed pages, I started a blog. To my great surprise, even to this very moment, people began reading my blog. I’ve been out here since late 2003. Since then, the blogosphere has gotten crowded. Early blogging opinionators paved the way for later ones. I’ve always said and continue to believe there’s room enough for all of us.
People have told me in person and via e-mail that reading my blog instigated an examination of their own beliefs, and my courage-under-fire gave them courage to speak their minds without fear. Some readers, critics among them, said I inspired them to start blogging.
This blog has been both a blessing and a curse. While it’s given me the platform to touch hearts, change minds, and share the Gospel, as I’m commissioned to do, it’s also caused me to neglect my relationship with Christ at times and to almost “lose my religion” responding to the haters. To feel the brunt of other people’s frustrations over failed plans and unrealized dreams, to realize they’re directing the anger they harbor against themselves and others toward me, to perceive the depth of their contempt against me for daring to say publicly what they may say behind closed doors – I confess – sometimes hurts.
What prompted this post, you ask? I recently quoted a “controversial” figure on Facebook, and the discussion descended into the kind of thing that hasn’t been seen on this blog in a couple of years. (From my perspective, Facebook and Twitter are extensions of my blog.) I was transported back in time, and the effect was powerful enough to dredge up memories.
I used to be passionate about politics; specifically, encouraging people to examine what they believe and to vote for politicians with similar beliefs. Sounds simple, yes? Over the years, however, I gradually started not to care. The back and forth, he-said/she-said quality of it all began to bore me. Additionally, I no longer cared enough about certain issues to put up with the inevitable ad hominem. Passion drove me in the beginning to put up with the nonsense. As the passion waned, so did my tolerance for the vitriol or willful misreadings and/or misrepresentations of my posts. All of it bored me.
I may regain the passion. I have to say, though, I’m still passionate about the protection of the unborn and marriage as God ordained it. Please, keep calling me an anti-choice extremist and a homophobe. It’s like honey.
For now, I’m doing something different, something better for me at this stage of my physical and spiritual life. It may bore everyone else, but I get up in the morning looking forward to it, and that’s important right now for my mental well-being. As always, I’ll blog about it. 
Thanks again for reading my blog – for love, like, hate, curiosity, indifference, or whatever else you’ve got.
Addendum: I used to be hard on people afraid to speak their minds and share controversial opinions. It’s tough going against the grain. I empathize. But I tend to think outside the mainstream and delight in telling people so.
