It’s been 13 years since I had a beer or a Martini or Vodka and tonic or a glass of wine or…
I started drinking shortly before turning 18, and I drank almost every day for over a decade. The only time I wasn’t drinking or thinking about drinking was when I was asleep. During those years, I tried to get help at least twice. Both counselors told me, matter-of-factly, that I needed to stop drinking but wouldn’t stop until I wanted to stop. I tried to run my woe-is-me game on them, but no dice. Drunks know drunks.
When I got tired of smelling alcohol on myself, wondering whether others could smell it on me, and hiding how much I drank, I stopped. That’s the surface explanation. The deeper and ultimate explanation is that God intervened. I lay it all out in “A Sobering Truth.”
Strangely enough, after over a decade, I sometimes dream that I’m drinking. I wake up with a sense of dread before I remember it’s just a dream.
Whenever I blog about my sobriety anniversary, I hear from a number of ex- and current drunks. I have no deep wisdom for the current drinkers. I tell them what former drunks told me: no one can convince you to stop, no matter how horrible their rock-bottom stories. Thankfully, I never reached bottom. God had other plans for me.
I’m living proof that putting down that drink will not kill you. No matter how difficult it may be, you must look at yourself in a mirror with sober eyes. The world is full of evil and ugliness, but it contains goodness and beauty, too. You don’t know what you’re missing. Challenge yourself to see it with clear eyes.
Email me at lashawn [at] lashawnbarber.com. I will pray for you.
Update: It should go without saying, but I’ll say it anyway. Your e-mail is confidential. I will not post it on the blog.
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